I was discussing with a colleague today about driving in the USA. Here, we are often apprehensive even if our light is green and naturally press the brake, fearing that somebody would try to jump the red light and our car will bump into their vehicle. We often see pedestrians and two-wheelers jumping the red lights. Many people try to drive their vehicles on the wrong side, which creates immense possibilities of accidents. On the other hand, in the USA, if a person tries to press the brake while the light is green, it is considered a big irritant by the people who are behind that vehicle. Thus, there is a trust issue due to the habit pattern of people developed over a period of time.
The trust issue is not confined to driving; rather, it spreads across almost all the domains of our lives. We go to buy a product in the market and end up buying a spurious product. Next time, we will become quite cautious while buying the products from the market. We need to be cautious even while buying the vegetables and fruits, and need to check that nothing has been injected into them. Even milk at many places is made of chemicals. People do not mind taking the lives of others for petty benefits. Yet, everybody pretends to be religious. Ideally, the markets should have provided opportunities for everybody to come out with the best products and ensure fair competition. Unfortunately, they have become places where people doubt every advertisement, and people feel cheated, and the cheaters flourish.
The same culture is quite prevalent in many organizations. Most people put their self-interest above the interest of the organization. The resources of the organizations are misused for personal benefits of the people working in the organizations. There is a race to hijack the credit. The poor employee at the bottom works hard, and the people sitting at the top not only take away their credit but also try to frighten them. People play games. People "smartly" manage to work minimum and project maximum. There is hardly any premium for intelligence and hard work. The hardest-working employees of the organizations get disillusioned and move away. Ideally, the organizations that should have provided opportunities for the individuals to excel and explore their potential have become the case studies for killing potential and aspirations, and it is unfortunate to see the best of the manpower getting spoiled in these organizations.
The same problem is in relationships. Relationships have become inauthentic. We form relationships and make efforts therein so that we can help each other grow. We can help each other at the time of crisis, so we need not be worried about the crisis, and we can concentrate on growth. But, actually, relationships have become one of the greatest barriers to growth. Unless both persons want to grow in the same direction, each one has to give space to the other. Relationships are not bondages. Relationships are not for slavery. Unfortunately, relationships are not like contracts, where everything is written in black and white at the beginning of the relationship. Relationships develop as we grow. Nobody would be the same person as he was a decade back. We grow with our experiences. Definitely, two people may grow differently, and that's why there is a need for some space. An immature society treats relationships as bondage, and that's why people keep suffering in relationships despite not having any worthwhile interaction. People pretend and become inauthentic due to their inability to withstand the pressure of social criticism. That's why they find it so difficult to say "no". That's why they attend the social functions, praise the host, and, while coming back, criticise the host. That's why people praise their relatives on their face, and criticise them on their back.
The authenticity of any society is key to its progress. We may discuss all the ideals in the world, but what truly matters is our actual behavior. When we fail to practice what we preach, society is doomed. We can't preach fearlessness to our children while brimming with fear. We can't advocate love and compassion while we are consumed by greed. Kids will learn from what they observe. If we prioritize self-interest over the well-being of the organization, children will naturally adopt selfishness. If we criticize our relatives behind their backs while praising them to their faces, children will struggle to appreciate the integrity of character. A flawed society reflects poor parenting, which is why our hope lies in proper parenting. We must all examine ourselves to recognize our inauthenticities and weaknesses in integrity. Once we acknowledge these, we have the chance to correct ourselves, and that learning will inevitably transfer to our children. If we make everything around us, including relationships, a means to our selfish ends, children will learn the same behavior, and we will have no right to complain about society. Parents must demonstrate the true meaning of relationships through their actions if they want their children to cultivate loving relationships. If parents lack love and compassion in their lives and do not value freedom, truth, and exploration, how can we expect children to develop such aspirations? They are more likely to become entrapped by a society that fosters low aspirations characterized by greed and hatred.
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