Habit patterns are not easy to change because they are intrinsically connected to our bodies. Every time we follow our habit, pleasant sensations are felt, while every time we try to change our habit, unpleasant sensations are felt. Every time we taste good food, return home, talk to our family members, spend time with a dear friend, receive appreciation, feel in control of things, earn money, or buy a home, we feel good. On the other hand, every time we taste food that does not suit our taste buds, are forced to stay away from home, are unable to meet our friends, receive criticism, feel like not have control over our lives, lose money, or face a financial crisis, we feel bad.
Our mind has two layers. One is conscious while the other is unconscious. We make many decisions like what food to eat, which investment to make, where to go for the holiday trip, whether to change the job or continue the same, etc, consciously. However, behind every conscious decision, there are layers and layers of the unconscious mind that support that decision. For example, how do we make a decision to choose the stream in the 11th standard? It may appear that we just followed the colleagues or listened to the advice of teachers or parents, or we wanted to study a particular stream. But the decision would be influenced significantly by our unconscious mind. For example, somebody's unconscious mind might have been primed to believe that the majority is always right. If somebody is born in a mindlessly compliant society where nobody challenges social norms, their decision is most likely to be influenced by the decisions of their colleagues. The decision will definitely be affected by our understanding of the purpose of life, the value of money, the willingness to work hard, and the ability to delay gratification. All these factors will influence our decision in the background, and when we make the decision, we will not be aware of all the factors that influenced the decision.
These unconscious influences operate through sensations. For example, in the above example, the student has to decide about his career, and his mind would project many future possibilities. He will visualize passing out from a good university and his parents feeling proud. This will fill him with pleasant sensations. At the same time, he would visualize long hours of study and hard work that may fill his body with unpleasant sensations. He may find the idea of leaving friends or partying and having fun with friends quite disturbing. But he may find the idea of prestige in society and a fat salary with which he can buy comforts quite luring. He will make a decision as a sum total of all these calculations, and all these calculations will always be subjective for two reasons. First, we know too little about the future, and the probabilities of different events can't be measured. Second, we do not know how exactly we are going to feel in the future because we are constantly changing, and all our calculations are based on our feelings as of today, which are likely to change significantly with time.
Most of these calculations are unconscious, and that's why we are quite unsure of the decisions we make, but at the same time, we just follow the most comfortable path. Since we do not know and are unable to make a conscious decision, we do what looks most comfortable to us. That is why most people follow the path shown by society. Most people do not dare to take a detour. That's why we spend our lives in routine. We are not sure of what lies beyond the world of sensations, and that's why we do not want to become uncomfortable. Pleasant sensation is the reality, and we can't see what exists beyond the world of sensations. We want to remain "happy" by getting more and more pleasant sensations, and fail to realize that we are in a trap and we are just waiting for the changes of circumstances to become unhappy and get depressed. We are feeling safe on a sinking ship amidst turbulent weather.
The world of sensations will always be like that. We will feel pain and pleasure quite strongly, but at the same time, these feelings change rapidly, and we are never certain of our reactions in the future. However, there is something inside us that is permanent: the feelings of love and compassion, a deep desire for freedom, a wish to fly freely, and to explore the truth. These feelings come from a different realm than the world of sensations. If someone begins to listen to them, they lose interest in the temporary world of sensations. Mira loves Krishna, and she remains unaffected by the fiercest criticism from her family and society. She is not even swayed by attempts on her life. Love fills us with an immense capacity to endure pain. Mothers bear the pain of delivery happily. Why would a person choosing "happiness" in pleasant sensations opt for the pain of delivery? People like Columbus and Vasco Da Gama endured the pain of exhausting and life-threatening journeys for the joy of exploration. People dare to climb Mount Everest for the sake of exploration, risking their lives and enduring significant suffering. It's possible to change our habits in only two situations: first, when we face disasters, and second, when we connect to our true selves and experience love, compassion, and freedom.
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