Why did Buddha marry Yashoda when he had to leave the palace to move to the forest in search of the meaning of life? Why did Krishna enter into a relationship with Radha when he had to leave Brij to fight against Kansa? Why didn't he come back to Brij after killing Kansa? Why did Rama let go of Sita when a few of the people in his kingdom raised their fingers at the character of Sita? Why did Mira marry a prince when she accepted Krishna as her husband?
All these questions indicate a conflict between the "purpose of relationships" and the "purpose of life". For most people, the relationship is the fulcrum of life, and they feel that they are living for their family. They would give away any and everything for their family. That's why they would criticise Rama for leaving Sita, without realizing that he is the same Rama who went all the way to Lanka to get Sita back. They criticise Buddha for having left his family, failing to realize that it is the same Buddha who has inspired generations along their journey towards enlightenment. They would criticise Krishna for having left Radha, without realizing that their relationship is probably the most revered in this world. They never stayed together after Krishna went to Mathura at a very young age, yet their relationship is the ideal relationship for the world. On all the pious occasions in India, we pray to Radha and Shyam in our homes and temples. Why would all the married men and women pray to Radha and Shyam rather than Shyam and Rukmini?
It is because the relationship of Krishna and Radha is not limited to this world. There is an eternal bond between them. Their souls are intrinsically connected. They are growing together across lives, and their relationship is not restricted to one life. When we see the journey of two souls across lifetimes, it does not matter whether the two people stayed together in a lifetime or not. What makes that relationship beautiful is the mutual respect for each other's life goals, love, compassion, and wisdom. Radha appreciates that Krishna has come to the Earth for a larger purpose and never ever becomes a barrier in the path of Krishna. She has unconditional love for Krishna. She is wise enough to understand and appreciate the journey of the soul across lives. No doubt it is painful for both Krishna and Radha to stay away, yet they prioritise growth and the purpose of life over staying together. That appreciation is at the core of the most revered relationships in this world.
Most often, we do not have the appreciation of the journey of the soul. That's why we become possessive. We try to obstruct the journey of the soul in the name of relationships. Parents do not want to send their kids abroad due to the fear of separation. Family should be the centre of life. Spouses raise their fingers when the other person prioritizes office work. Radha never stopped Krishna from fulfilling his life purpose. If we want our spouse to be limited to the family, why do we pray to Krishna and Radha? Probably, most relationships in this world are formed on a very fragile foundation. Unless relationships are founded on the solid platform of love and compassion, they will just be shackles around our ankles. The problem is that love and compassion can't be transmitted to our relationships unless we first learn to love ourselves.
When we dive deep into our own being and reflect on the journey of our soul, we realize that every relationship has a purpose. This birth serves a purpose in the eternal journey of our soul, and each relationship plays a role. Each connection helps us manifest a different possibility. Different souls are at various stages of their journeys, and through this process, two souls come together to travel part of that journey together. Relationships do not mean we lose awareness of the soul's journey or allow them to become shackles around our ankles. Instead, relationships are meant to help us grow. However, we must look beyond a single lifetime to truly understand and appreciate that journey. The most beautiful and revered relationships in this world are those in which both partners grow together and support each other's journeys. An insecure mind cannot love. An insecure mind can, at best, manipulate relationships to get some security. It requires a profound inner connection and awareness to love like Radha. When we pray to Radha and Krishna, we acknowledge that purity, love, compassion, and freedom. Yet, praying for purity while practicing impurity will not lead us anywhere. Our actions and thoughts must align. That's why we need to introspect on whether our relationships are based on "expectations" or "love."
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