Indian society is so fixated on settlement. Parents want their kids to be settled soon so that their responsibilities are over. What is the meaning of "being settled"? Most parents feel their kids are settled when they get a decent degree, a good job, marry, and have two kids. At each of the stages, there is a lot of "violence" that kids have to face. If the kids want to study the subjects of their choice, parents often ridicule their choices for not being "good" for their early settlement. After the degree, again, kids have to face offensive interactions, often asking about the job and the package. The entire existence of the children is evaluated in terms of the package they get in their placement. The kids who fail to get a job in the campus placements are considered to be failures, and often their parents consider it a social stigma and often hide these facts. On the other hand, the parents of the children who got fat pay packages boast around as if it were their own achievement.
After the job, too, the kids are not spared, and they have to get married soon. If they are not inclined to marry, the society and the parents will ask unpleasant questions almost every day, and most of the kids give up to the pressure and marry "somebody". In many cases, there is no companionship and at the end of the day, we end up spending our lives cracking jokes on marriage, husbands, and wives, somehow demonstrating the foolishness behind our decision to take decision to marry in a hurry. Even after marriage, society and parents do not spare the kids till they have kids.
Are parents happy after the kids are settled? Definitely no. By the time all these things happen, parents are in their 60s, and now they do not have any purpose in life left. All the kids are settled. They take pride in the fact and boast about around for some time. But how many times can anybody repeat the same "achievements"? Moreover, any sane mind starts realizing the "hollowness" of these "achievements". They see that their kids are "stressed" at the workplace. They see the strained relationships. They see the stress on the face of their kids, having the same worries about their grandchildren. Quite a few, in this stage set, repeated targets of "settling" their grandchildren and entering into the same loop again. Some are more mindful and get to realize the futility of "settlement" and try to set another target in the form of "pursuing some hobby" or "joining some spiritual organization". However, by that time, the body is already overused due to constant stress and upkeep and maintenance of the body takes a huge time, and constant health issues also make people psychologically dependent on their kids, and that's why it becomes quite difficult to think beyond the kids and their family. That's why pursuing a hobby and visiting some baba remains a part-time activity only for most people.
Can't we analyse why we have such a strong inclination to "settle" and make our kids settle? Can't we see the insecurity behind the thought? Can't we see the impossibility of settling down because the "ground" on which we want to settle is changing fast? AI has taken over the jobs of manual workers. Groundwater is depleting fast. Climate is changing, making many more places unlivable. New variants of bacteria and viruses are evolving. Law is changing quite at a fast pace. The world order is also going through significant churning. How can our minds ignore all these facts and think of settling down? In a fast-changing ecosystem, settling down is synonymous with death. Even otherwise, is life about settling down? Is settling down not synonymous with death?
I fail to understand why we would want to waste this precious life just to "settle down." We have enough examples in this world where people have explored different things during their lives. We can interact with a person who has been "well settled" and another who is a "constant explorer," and easily see the difference. The "well-settled" person will always be insecure because the ground on which he is fooling himself into believing he is settled is changing rapidly. Every change in the world order, political setup, every crash of the stock market, every news of bank fraud, every news of natural disaster, and every death in the family will ignite a string of fear and insecurity in his mind. On the other hand, the "constant explorer" finds joy in each moment, which is why he is full of experiences. He is full of life. If someone is willing to discuss life, he has thousands of topics based on his experience of life, while the "well-settled" person has only his "insecurities and fears of being unsettled" to discuss. We fail to realize that death will unsettle everybody, no matter how well settled someone may be. Thus, the sense of settlement can never be permanent. It's just a farce. The sooner we realize it, the better it will be, as the earlier we do, the more we will move toward exploration and the more we will be able to appreciate this precious life.
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