We all feel quite insecure and therefore develop different "winning formulas" based on our upbringing. There are various popular "winning formulas" such as money, relationships, powers, social validation, etc. We try to get these "magical powers" by different tried and tested methods. Some try to get admission to the best of the colleges and universities, so that they may get lucrative packages. Some try to clear civil services, to get the powers. Some invest in their relationships so that these relatives stand with them in their bad times.
For most people, such saturation point does not arise during their lifetime and they keep making efforts to "become" or "get" whatever they wished in their life. Some of us are lucky to realize the futility of some of these "winning formulas". For example, some earn a lot of money and feel that any amount of money can't make them happy. Now what? We face a mid-life crisis. We invested so much of our time and energy to get a particular job or to take care of the kids, or invested so much in relationships or made so much effort to get a particular position, and suddenly realize that we are as empty as before or probably more. We understand that we have chosen a wrong "winning formula". Now what? Do we get the courage to look at our lives afresh? Generally no.
Generally, all these mid-life crises make us realize the choice of the wrong "winning formula" but we do not gather the "wisdom" or "awareness" to examine the fundamentals. What is our fundamental seeking? We do not want to reflect on the very nature of "seeking". Why are we seeking at all? What is lacking inside that we are seeking outside. This is a fundamental enquiry that challenges the very foundations of our existence. It requires time and patience, and such an enquiry is not a possibility for a mind that is occupied with the social conditioning. Most of us neither have the time nor energy to enter into that enquiry and just make the choice of a different "winning formula" available in the market. "Money" did not work, so we will now choose "power". If "power" failed to work, we will choose "relationships". If "relationships" failed to work, we will choose "some spiritual organization". It's almost impossible to explore the possibility of living without these mental concepts of security.
We can't observe the reality unless we get rid of these concepts. Unfortunately, these mental concepts and stories are not like the glasses that we take them off. They are deep inside our psyche. In fact, we are not conscious of a large part of their existence and they operate unconsciously and affect our decision making process. Fortunately, we always have a choice to examine them and recreate our life. Availability of that choice depends upon our willingness to ask uncomfortable questions from ourselves. That requires commitment towards truth, however uncomfortable that may be. In fact, we need to re-examine the entire concept of comfort. What looks comfortable may be actually the reason behind the entire discomfort and meaninglessness of life.
Life is not for "seeking" security or comforts. Whatever we "do", whatever we "become" and whatever we "possess" can never make us secure because the body is decaying fast and the circumstances are always changing. Life is all about exploration and action. Life exists in the present moment away from the thoughts of the past and future. If I do what I "love" in the present moment or I "love" what I do in the present moment, nobody can deprive me from happiness and contentment. Happiness is not "something" to be achieved, rather it is a natural consequence of "making best use of our lives". Yes, there may be situations in which we feel that we are not able to make the best use of the time. However, probably if we look at it from a different perspective, we would find infinite opportunities. People find opportunities even in the Nazi concentration camps. Most of the time, opportunities are available to us to explore. A singer does not require a "big stage" to explore singing, rather he may be happier singing in a forest. Big stage is required for social validation.
I believe that whatever actions we take, there are opportunities to explore what we love. For instance, I might be assigned a boring task. While this may be seen as a waste of time, it could also be a great opportunity to examine my feelings of "boredom" and "resentment," and in doing so, I may discover something profound about my own psyche. Sri Aurobindo achieved some of the greatest realizations of his life while in jail, as that time allowed him to inquire deeply. Generally, we have many choices available to us; it often just requires a realignment of our thoughts. Why do we continue with jobs we do not enjoy? Why do we stay in relationships where people have grown apart? We need to be honest with ourselves. The moment we are truthful, we recognize the urgency to make decisions. We are no longer confined by the notions of "comfort" and "safety." We come to understand that the true meaning of life is to "explore" what we "love" without wasting any time. This realization empowers us to make bold choices, even if those choices lead us away from certain "comforts" and "safety," because we come to understand the deeper truth behind them. However, the old habit patterns of fixation to "comforts" and "safety" are not so easy to change and require constant untiring efforts.
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