We all contribute in different spheres of life and in diverse roles assigned to us. We contribute as mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, employees, employers, and friends. In some cases, such contribution requires great sacrifice. Somebody sacrifices his life while fighting for the country, somebody donates his kidney to another person, somebody donates all his money for a social cause. But a question arises whether there exists a possibility of contribution or sacrifice without love?
Somebody long back sent a video to me and I found the old man speaking in the video to be the wisest man. He said that love is dynamic. When we interact and talk to each other, listen to each other, we undergo a change. A part of "I" becomes part of "you" and a part of "you" becomes part of "I". After each interaction, "I" and "you" have undergone a change. So much so that when we connect with each other without filters and guards, osmosis and reverse osmosis take place and at some time, there remains little difference between "I" and "you" and in fact there comes time when "I" and "you" tend to react almost same way to different situations.
This process called "love" is quite rare in this world because we are full of insecurities. Out of these insecurities, we are always guarded. We always have firewalls. We do not allow anybody to enter the deepest place of our being. We do not share our darkest of secrets with anybody. We are afraid of being blackmailed or being misunderstood. We feel vulnerable that the other person will "judge" us. We have so much fixation on our "I" and that's why we try to maintain the best projection of this "I", however fake that projection may be. In fact, out of the fears and insecurities, slowly and gradually, we lose awareness of what we are and believe what our "self image" is. It becomes quite difficult and uncomfortable for us to accept what we really are and our entire self becomes inauthentic. An inauthentic self can never love. How can there be a connection between two persons when the real self is imprisoned in the dark cell by the "self image". When two inauthentic "self images" exchange ideas and thoughts, that's not going to lead us anywhere near reality. Love is real and not a story.
This process of osmosis and reverse osmosis can take place between persons and also between a person and some concept. Somebody loves his kids and family, and somebody may love the concept of a nation or an organisation or harmony. When somebody loves his kids, he takes care of his kids and at times sacrifices his personal comforts. However, if there is love, there is no feeling of sacrifice or contribution because when "I" love "somebody", that "somebody" is part of "me" and that's why whatever I am doing is doing for myself and there is no question of contribution or sacrifice. We feel like sacrificing and contributing only when we do not love. That's a very different phenomenon. Probably we are suffering from the "low self worth" and we want to enhance the same by sacrificing a part of our comforts and possessions (mostly unused) so that the society recognises the "good work" we have done in exchange. That's behind donations by rich people in most cases.
"Contribution" and "sacrifice" without love is just a manipulation to raise the "self image". Often such "contributions" and "sacrifices" are full of "violence" and "expectations". That's why Krishna gave the concept of "swadharma". I need to act according to my nature or "dharma". All of us have different temperaments and different skill sets. If we do what we "love", it does not require sacrifice to contribute. Contribution takes place naturally. We feel contented because we did what we loved to do, and because we do what we love, we are in a state of "flow" and our efficiency is at its peak. We forget the sense of time, and since there is no sense of time, there is no feeling of effort. In that state, we end up contributing greatly without even feeling that we have made efforts. Buddha would not feel like making efforts when he is talking to people. It's natural to him. Einstein would not feel like making efforts, rather he is doing what he loves.
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