Skip to main content

Transformation of the Little Monster

One attribute distinguishing human beings from other living beings in this world is their inherent desire to manage their image. Tigers kill other animals and eat them but they do not pretend to be saints. Human beings invest a lot of time and energy in their image management. We notice almost every day the most corrupt people pretend to be honest, the people who do not understand even A, B, or C of spirituality become the caretakers of religion, people who are completely self-obsessed and narcissistic pretend to be most generous and caring, people who do not have a second thought on exploiting others pretend to be quite helpful.

If we examine our society carefully, we will quickly notice that most people have disproportionately high desires as compared to their capabilities and that is the fundamental reason of falsity in their characters. We are quite lazy. Somehow this society places a huge premium on laziness and comfort. Best jobs are the ones with little amount of work and huge money. The dream of almost every parent is that their kids get some 10-5 job with a high pay package. People look forward to the weekend starting from Monday. The people who work hard in this society are compared to "donkeys" and the people who eat away the credit of others are considered to be "smart". Since hard work is a strict "no-no" in this society, there is a "Jugaad" culture for almost everything. 

Due to widespread "love" for laziness, disinterest in work, and skill building, people become very weak and inefficient over time. However, since people have little awareness of the depths and breadths of life, they become fixated on the limited spectrum of life they are aware of. Within that narrow band of awareness of the possibilities of life, they also grow ambitious. Everybody wants to become a billionaire and powerful. The weak characters are unable to bear the burden of desires and expectations and the Integrity and authenticity of the character get suffocated under their pressure and die down. People start telling lies to manage their images. We attend social functions and funerals just to pretend that we are social. There is some suicide in the neighborhood and we go there just to find the reasons and eliminate the possibility that it can happen in our family. The moment we find some distinguishing factor, we become so happy. We go to the hospital to see a friend suffering from a terminal disease and try to eliminate the possibility that we may be the next one in the hospital. 

We call somebody our friend and will hide the secrets in our hearts. I am 100% sure that there would be very few people in this world who have even one person they can share their deepest secrets with. That requires taking off all the masks that we have been wearing all our lives. Masks under the masks. The infinite number of masks. In fact, we wear so many masks that over a while we even lose awareness of the masks we are wearing and that's how we become inauthentic in our behavior. Lies and pretensions become so integral to our behavior that we keep telling lies without even being aware of them. 

We may pretend to love and have compassion, but how can the little monster of "ego" hiding behind all these "masks" have love and compassion. After all, love and compassion require a connection. How can that little monster connect when it is not even willing to show its real face to others? When each little monster is hiding behind the mask, how can two or more people connect? It is also a fact that it is only the gentle touch of love and compassion that can turn these little monsters into "pureness". Only light can convert darkness into light. In fact, darkness is nothing but the absence of light. The little monsters turn into demons by wearing the mask of authority and positions. 

I believe one of the biggest tasks for us as parents is to help our kids see through the "masks." If they can see through them, they won’t wear these masks. If they connect to light, they will become aware, but if they resent it, darkness will grow inside them. The "little monster" of ego within them will wear masks of inauthenticity. Falsehood will become their defense mechanism, and they will lose the integrity of their character. They may achieve great things but will cry lonely behind these masks throughout their lives. However, this cannot happen unless parents are bold enough to remove their own masks. Without shedding their own masks, they cannot connect with their kids, and their words will have no impact on the "deaf ears" of the little monster. A dream, no matter how long and beautiful, remains just that—a dream; when we wake up, it carries no meaning. One may take pride in experiencing a beautiful dream, but it holds no significance. Similarly, we may create thousands of "mental stories" about ourselves, yet reality remains untouched behind these masks. If parents can discard all their masks, especially the mask of authority while interacting with their kids, the parent-child relationship can transform the "little monster" of ego inside the parents as well as children into purity. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Field of Awareness

 I presented a paper on Vipassana long back at Delhi University, and at that time, a professor there asked me a question: "Who realises the temporality of the sensations when we practice Vipassana: the mind or something else?" That question stayed with me. I told him about my experience in Estonia. Once, I went on an office tour in Estonia, where it was extremely cold at around -15 degrees. I walked outdoors for quite a long time and developed severe stomach pain. With no medicines available to me and no doctor to visit, I sat in Vipassana and began observing sensations. After about an hour of observation, the pain disappeared. I told him that I don't know whether that was a realisation of the mind or something else, but the same brain that experienced pain some time back had no pain after some time.  The question is who was feeling the pain and where that pain disappeared after observation. When we sit in Vipassana, our minds are full of so many thoughts. Usually, our m...

Do we love anybody?

Are we competent to love? It seems a very strange statement in the first instance. Do we need any competence to love? Love seems so natural. But the strange thing is that most of us do not love even ourselves. Do we? What do we love? Our self-image, our beliefs, body, and ambitions. "I" am good, and the others should appreciate me for being good. "I" believe in a particular thought or religion, and consider myself to be a sum-total of these thoughts and beliefs. "I" and my body, and therefore want to protect the body and become anxious whenever there is a threat to the body or a disease that does not get cured. "I" also become happy when this body feels instinctive pleasure, such as after eating tasty food, doing shopping, travelling to a place "I" like. "I" am my ambitions and work hard to achieve my targets. What is love, on the other hand? Love is a complete merger. When there is no difference between "I" and ...

Choice and Surrender

I was just listening to a talk by Sister Shivani . She says that we don't need to choose. Rather, we need to surrender, and the almighty decides for us. That's almost an impossible thing for the control freaks. How can I not choose? My choices have made me what I am. For example, I decided to do CA and write the civil services examination , and that's what defines what I am today professionally. I decided not to drink liquor, and I am proud of the fact that I am a teetotaler . I chose to read thousands of books on Neurology, Philosophy, Psychology, Quantum Physics and Mysticism . I also decided to explore Astrology and practice Vipassana . I decided to take sessions for the children. I chose my friends and people I would like to spend time with. The sum total of all these things is what I am today. How can I give away choices?  Most achievers are control freaks, and it is quite difficult for them to give up their choices. In fact, they have reached to their present positi...