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"Thoughts" and "Habits"

Astrology gives us good insights into the nature of self. There are 9 planets based in Astrology which may be divided into 3 categories. 3 planets Mercury, Rahu, and Ketu are mental planets. 3 planets Jupiter, Mars, and Venus are energy planets and the rest of the 3 planets Moon, Sun, and Saturn are causal planets. The 9 planets represent the 9 forces of life and different combinations and permutations of these 9 planets and 12 houses (representing different aspects of our life such as personality, family, education, etc) culminate into so many different types of people we have on the wonderful planet.

The mental planets reveal the nature of our mind. While Mercury represents the logical and intellectual mind, Rahu represents emotional aggression and thinking about the future, and Ketu represents rumination and thinking about the past. Depending upon the placement of these planets in our horoscope and the dasha we are passing through, our thoughts keep changing. We can notice the same in our daily lives. Sometimes, we are too concerned about our kids, and sometimes they just disappear from our minds and office takes over. Similarly, different forces of nature in the energy and causal plane have an impact on our lives depending upon their Dasha and placements in the horoscope.

Unless we understand ourselves deeply, we are bound to draw incorrect conclusions about ourselves. I can try to explain the same with my own experiences. I started reading several books written by mystics and spiritual teachers in 2003. In November 2003, after my first examination, I visited Raj Ghat and read "My Experiments with Truth" by Mahatma Gandhi and "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman. Until I visited Raj Ghat, I had not read any book other than the books related to chartered accountancy or civil services. What attracted me to these books? When I came back to my room, my Company secretary examinations were scheduled in December 2003 and I already cleared the intermediate of CS. As I started reading the books, I was so engrossed with the books that I skipped the first group exam that was scheduled for the last week of December. After that, there was no going back. At NADT, I read hundreds of books thanks to its rich library and till 2012, I would have read a few hundred books on different subjects including psychology, neurology, quantum physics, and philosophy.

I realized a deeper truth about myself at that stage. I was quite convinced about the nature of reality at the level of thought. Consciousness was all the time in my mind, but I noticed that when it comes to real life and decisions therein, there is something else that is driving me. A strong habit pattern that is untouched by the thoughts. The inner fears and ambitions do not relate to the thoughts of spirituality. Around 2011, I developed a strong urge to understand the basics of Astrology and started reading the books written by a number of Astrologers. I gathered the horoscopes of hundreds of my known friends and famous personalities and started doing research thereon. Nature soon started revealing its secrets and the first thing I understood was that the "thoughts" and "habits" operate in two different planes. We may become very pious in our thoughts and remain equally self-centered and greedy on the plane of habits.

This understanding has been confirmed by the leading neurologists of the day such as Gabor Mate, who has written in his book "Body Keeps the Score" that all our trauma experiences are stored in our body, and as and when there is some trigger, the old memories come to surface again. All deep experiences and repeated actions turn into our habits which are stored inside our bodies in the form of habits and most of them operate at an unconscious level. Fear comes naturally to us without any effort. The fear of adults before attending the meeting is no different from the fear of appearing in the examination. The habit of telling lies to avoid scolding from parents gets manifested in the form of telling lies in presentations before seniors while working in the organization. When we lose touch with the authentic self, these falsities start driving our life and making decisions. We continue with sub-standard career options for the fear of not getting an alternative. Greed manifests in the form of eating away the credit of others while working in a team. Career ambitions drive our decisions to the extent that we ignore the impact of these decisions on the people around us.

I was passing through all these confusions around 2012, when a noble soul, Shri S S Rana guided me to do Vipassana. I happened to visit the USA for an official trip with him and had a number of discussions about spiritual books. After returning back, someday I met him and asked that things are not falling into place. Something is lacking which is not making sense. He asked me to do Vipassana. I was quite against that but somehow enrolled and in July 2012 I attended my first Vipassana camp which was a watershed event of my life. It makes me realize the play of "habits" at the level of the unconscious. It was just like a laboratory for me to practically see whatever I had read in the books on neurology and astrology. We can see clearly how the "habits" drive our "thoughts" unconsciously and until we become aware of these body sensations and drop fixation on those, whatever books we may read and whatever pure thoughts we may gather, our existence will be governed by the "habit patterns" of greed, selfishness, and self-obsession.

It's a long journey of course. Every day our greed and ambitions make new habit patterns. We become jealous of the people who have what we do not have and wish for. We become angry when we see the systems we like being distorted. We become ambitious when we look at something tempting and make efforts to grab it. It's like a bad bacteria inside which is manifesting in the form of fever. We listen to some lectures and bhajans and feel good just like we feel good after taking paracetamol but the next time we have a higher degree of fever because the bacteria inside has reproduced and increased manifold. We have to take antibiotics to get relief. Similarly, we attend some Vipassana camps to get that relief. However, that will not work in the long run and the bacteria will again attack because our immunity is weak. Finally, we will have to work on our immunity. Eat well and exercise daily. That's what is required in life. Being aware of the inner and outer world. We need to be aware of what to absorb and what to drop. We need to examine ourselves constantly which is like the exercise of the body. We need to observe ourselves as a witness so that we get to know which habit patterns are driving our decisions. When we get to know our "habits", we get an opportunity to drop them. Immunity requires constant living with awareness.

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