Buddha left home to search for truth. He had a wife and a young son when he left home. Was it an act of selfishness? Rama left home to honor the words of his father. He was newly married, and so was his brother. His decision had implications for Sita, his brother Lakshmana, and his wife. Lakshmana and Sita stayed with him in the forest for 14 years while Urmila had to stay alone for 14 years. Krishna also left Brij when he decided to fight against Kansa and never came back to Brij where all his friends lived. Were these decisions driven by selfishness or sacrifice?
I feel that it all depends on our mindset. If we introspect, we will be able to see the true cause behind our actions. If Buddha went to the forest to run away from the world, probably that's an escape. If he went to get some siddhi, that's an act of selfishness. So far as I have read about the life of Buddha, he had a very strong desire to know the truth. He asked the truth behind life, death, disease, and old age from everybody around. His parents tried to deviate his mind to material pleasure so that these questions get lost in the shine and gleam of the world. However, his quest was genuine and the torrential rain of materiality could not douse the fire within him after years of experience, he understood that the answers to his questions could not be found in the city and palace and he decided to go to the forest. He was authentic in his quest and at the same time compassionate to everybody around him. But the world had such a limited frame that his questions got lost in the noise of materiality.
Rama was ready to become the king to serve the people. However, he had no fixation on the kingdom. He knew that his brother Bharata could also serve the people of Ayodhya equally well and therefore he decided to honor the words of his father. He was an authentic Vairagi who did not seek anything for himself. Earlier in his life, he went to the forest and killed many demons to save the yajnas being performed by the saints and rishis. His Vairagya was authentic and therefore he could maintain equanimity between the luxuries of a palace and the difficulties of living in a forest. That was the reason that he agreed that Sita and Lakshmana come with him to the forest. When Bharata also wanted to come with them, he resisted because he knew that Bharata had a different role to play.
Krishna was an equally authentic friend, philosopher, and guide. He guided the people around him to break free of their limited frames for almost the whole of his life. He would show the vastness of the universe to his mother Yashoda when she opened his mouth to see whether he ate butter or not. He educated the Gopis by stealing their clothes so that they have to be aware of their safety. He warned Pandavas of so many threats from Duryodhana and helped them almost every time they were in danger. Even at the battlefield of Kurukshetra, he imparted the message of Bhagwad Geeta to Arjuna to clear his confusion and to educate him for the bigger frame of life.
What is common in Buddha, Rama, and Krishna is their authenticity. Buddha was authentic about his search for truth, Rama about his inner completeness and equanimity, and Krishna about his guidance to help people shift to a wider and larger frame of life. I don't think that Buddha would have left home had his parents and wife been able to provide authentic answers to his questions. Rama was ready to become the king but it was when Kaikeyi was hell-bent on making Bharata the king, he knew very well that Bharata was equally capable of being the ruler, had no ill will against Bharata, knew very well that mother Kaikeyi was under temporary loss of reason and knew the fun of entering the domain of "I don't know, I don't know" and explore the same and had complete confidence in his ability to survive in the tough conditions. He was completely authentic in his approach. Similarly, when Krishna left Brij, his actions were exactly in consonance with what he taught everybody. To break free of the frames of life. From narrow to wider. We left Brij for the wider and larger purpose of his life.
There is probably no question of selfishness and sacrifice here. Selfishness and sacrifice are both products of a limited frame of mind. We stick to a frame of life, for example, family. We become selfish when we harm the interests of others for the benefit of our family or become insensitive to the world around us just to protect the interests of our family and ourselves. Similarly, we sacrifice some of the interests of the family for a larger cause. The mind registers it as a sacrifice only when we have a fixation on something and let it go. For Buddha, leaving family is not a sacrifice. For Rama, leaving Ayodhya is not a sacrifice. For Krishna, leaving Brij is not a sacrifice. They are always authentic. All decisions in the life of Buddha were driven by his quest for truth. All the decisions in the life of Rama were driven by his equanimity and Vairagya. All the decisions in Krishna's life were driven by his desire to break free of limited frames. The problem with most of us is that we are so lost in the targets in this material world that we never discover what our soul desires to manifest. We remain inauthentic throughout our lives, pretending and projecting that we are making great sacrifices for our family or just keep dancing to the loud music of materiality without ever listening to the silent, sweet song of the soul.
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