In any game or sport, the goalpost is quite clear. A bowler knows that he has to take the wicket by giving minimum runs, a batsman knows that he has to make maximum runs, and a footballer knows that he has to hit the goal. However, life is a game where there is no fixed goalpost. We set the goalpost of scoring 100% in the examination and suddenly we meet an accident and the entire goalpost shifts from best performance to just passing the examination. Some "unlucky" people set a goalpost for their life and life never brings situations to force them to change that. However, many "lucky" people have to change their goalpost. Tulsidas changed the goalpost of his life when insulted by his wife and so did Kalidas. Valmiki changed the goalpost after being imparted wisdom by the saints. King Ashoka changed the goalpost from a brutal warrior to the "messenger of peace" after coming into contact with Buddha.
I have seen both types of people. Some have become very fearful and limited after the death of their family members while some have become very magnanimous and have contributed hugely after the death of their close ones. I know some people who have started NGOs after the death of their only kids and I also know some people who have lost interest in life or remain constantly tense after the death of their close relatives. What makes some people explore new possibilities while others remain stuck on the loss and lose interest in life?
I think the answer is quite straightforward. It's all about our awareness. I used to listen to one story on a cassette. One person is quite sad and depressed and meets a sadhu. He says that he is very poor and not worth anything. Sadhu asks him to give his leg for a crore of rupees and he denies it. Sadhu asks him to give away different parts of his body for a price and he denies it. Sadhu says when you have a body worth millions of rupees, then why are you so sad. Basically, that man lost awareness of the precious body. We too lose awareness of what we have and the infinite possibilities of life. Some of our attention gets trapped in a small frame and we start evaluating good and bad, right and wrong in that narrow frame. We set goals within that narrow frame and become happy when we get what we desire and sad when we do not get what we desire.
I could have never imagined writing these blogs and doing the work that I am doing today even a few years back. No infant can set a goalpost of walking on his feet. No kid going to playschool dreams of being a scientist. We just trust nature and keep growing. The wider our awareness is, the better we will understand that "problems" are actually "opportunities" for us to grow in terms of awareness. That is why the most memorable experiences are those when we faced adversities challenged our limited framework and grew beyond them. The most exciting moments are not those when we solve a mathematical problem easily, but rather when the problem is quite difficult and after hours of rigorous effort, we get a solution. If the problem is easy in the first instance, we do not get the opportunity to challenge ourselves. If it is difficult and we refuse to take the challenge, again we miss out on the experience. Once we take up the challenge, it's just a matter of time and patience.
I feel that one crucial factor in deciding whether we remain motivated when we get tough challenges in life is: "what meaning we have assigned to life". If our awareness is limited, we will feel that life is for comfort and enjoyment. We may work hard and defer those enjoyments but if the challenge overstretches, the deferment may seem impossible. It's like a person tied to an elastic rope and jumping down for bungee jumping. The farther it moves, the greater will be the force of the rope pulling him up. Similarly, the greater will be the force of "missing enjoyment", the greater challenges we face if enjoyment is the fulcrum of our lives. On the other hand, if growth and experiences are the fulcrum of our lives, that's like paragliding. Every experience of life is a learning and we grow with every challenge. Yes, there would be moments of frustration. The elastic rope is still binding us but with each of these experiences, we are increasing its length and with constant challenges, sooner or later, we will set free of this rope when we are completely free to glide.
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