"Social approval" is one of our primary needs. Since childhood, we get used to seeking social validation. We want people to approve of our actions. As kids, we want to be good boys and girls and a favorite of our parents. We want to become the best students when we go to the school. The need for social approval continues throughout our lives. We want to become good husbands, sons, daughters, parents, and employees. We want to gather medals and rewards to demonstrate our approval by society. People spend money to get their names imprinted on the walls of temples and benches in the park as donors. Desire for name, fame, and validation is intrinsic to our existence.
The root cause of this strong desire appears to be rooted in "mirror neurons". Since human beings started living in societies, our brains evolved to mirror our ecosystem. Genetic mutation is quite slow in human beings as compared to viruses and bacteria. We recall the COVID-19 crisis wherein the virus genetically mutated many times during the pandemic. On the other hand, genetic mutations in human beings are quite slow. Probably that is why nature has blessed us with the capacity to mirror the ecosystem. We learn to walk by mirroring parents and siblings. We learn the language of the society we live in. Thus, mirror neurons help us survive to a great extent.
However, mirror neurons make us mirror the collective fears and biases of society as well. We become quite uncomfortable taking a stand against the prevailing social norms. It's not easy to choose "humanities" to study because it comes with the tag of being an "average student" since the established bias of society is that all "good students" take science. It is not easy "not to marry" because then you become answerable to all your Chachas, Mamas, and Phuphas and in fact the neighbors and the strangers why you are not marrying. It is not easy "not to attend social functions" in this society because people will term you as "anti-social".
That is why most "social reforms" take a very long period. Corruption is an accepted norm of society and every day one has to be ready to face the "inconvenience" and "threats" if one is not ready to join the bandwagon. Integrity of character is rare in society. People tell lies at the drop of a hat to save their skin. People can speak for hours against inequality and exploitation, but in reality, nobody wants to stand up against exploitation and inequality. "Standing up" has a cost. The cost of being outcasted by society because society is full of weak people.
Most people cannot stand for even themselves, leaving aside a "cause". They choose the easy path to conform to society. That improves survival chances significantly and that is the reason why the majority of the people who have survived in society will always be such weak people. People who develop the capacity to take a stand have three options. Most of them choose the first option. They use such capacity selectively to their advantage and start manipulating the systems to promote their vested interests. They become quite inauthentic in their behavior and pretend to do what society wants and in the background promote their own cause. Some people exercise the second choice and they reject the society and become arrogant. They give a damn to the society and flout all rules and regulations and become isolated. The third choice is the most difficult to exercise and therefore exercised quite rarely. It is to understand the true meaning of life and help society grow. Only realized souls like Kabira, Buddha, Nanak, and Sri Aurobindo have been able to do so. It is the most difficult but the most fulfilling path because it not only requires capacity but a very deep understanding of life and also love and compassion for all human beings including the ones who want to pull us down.
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