I was just watching the movie "Safar" wherein Rajesh Khanna plays the role of Avinash who discovers that he has blood cancer and will not survive long. Neela played by Sharmila Tagore loves Avinash but another character Shekhar also loves her. When Avinash gets to know that he is suffering from cancer, he wants Nella to marry Shekhar because he feels that Neela has a future with him and Shekhar has a better future to offer her. I was taken aback by that scene. It made me think a lot.
It made me ponder over at least two things. First, what is the meaning of marriage? Is marriage just an alliance for safety and security? Will Neela be happy marrying a person whom she does not love just because he offers her security and comfort? What is primary for marriage: love or comfort? Will Neela be able to share what she shared with Avinash? I am not sure about all these. Probably a hungry stomach can't think of love and that's why Indian marriages are by and large driven by "workability" and "safety" concerns. That's why caste and religion play such an important role. Parents are so particular about caste and religion to ensure the workability of alliance between the families. That's why love is relegated to the background and other considerations take over. But what's the meaning of a long comfortable life without love and companionship? Would a bird be happy with 6 months of life with wings or 40 years of life without wings?
Second: when a person becomes insecure for any reason, his entire thought process undergoes a significant change. Avinash has been diagnosed with cancer and that's why he has become quite insecure. For an insecure person, safety becomes the most significant concern. In a state of insecurity, it's quite difficult to fight for the larger goals of life such as freedom, compassion, and love. Probably that's the reason why Swami Vivekananda said that "strength is life, and weakness is death". Can an insecure mind decide for somebody else and therefore should Avinash be allowed to make a decision for Neela. But, if the decision is left to Neela, would she make a decision to Marry Avinash out of sympathy? Is there any scope for sympathy when there is love?
I feel that there is a complex interplay of emotions behind all these decisions. There is no right or wrong here. Probably, all these complexities arise because each one of us has his own share of insecurities. This body is quite fragile and therefore each one of us is insecure. The way this society is structured, there are additional insecurities arising out of lack of money or loss of relationships. The people who do not think beyond these insecurities have quite linear thinking and make quite stereotypical decisions. They will jump to the conclusion quite quickly that Neela should marry Shekhar and that's a very practical decision. However, for those who have freedom as the aim of life, life is not linear. For Neela, 6 months of companionship with the dying Avinash may be more precious than a comfortable life.
Generally, we remain aware of a very small percentage of the possibilities of life. We live life on a very low plane where life appears to be linear. People with wealth and powers appear to be the lucky ones. However, the moment we look at life from a high plane, where death is just a switch from an old body to a new one, our entire perspective changes. People clinging to money and power appear to be quite insecure and you look quite pitiable. In fact, any fixation looks quite limiting and suffocating. Society and its mindless concepts of morality look so tasteless and mindless. Love and freedom remain the only temptations in life. However, for a person trapped in the frame of society, all these talks appear to be quite meaningless. Probably there is no meeting ground between the people living within the frames and the people breaking free of the frames. That's why contemporary society has always rejected the realized souls be it Ramakrishna or Jejus until few people having the courage to break free of the frames realized their worth and started following them.
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