In a strange world, almost everybody tries to control others. Parents try to control their kids and kids just wait for their turn to become parents to control their kids. Bosses try to control their subordinates and subordinates in turn try to control their subordinates. The husband tries to control the wife and the wife tries to control the husband. countries try to control other countries. On the other end pole of control is freedom. We hardly understand the meaning of freedom. That's why we are mostly unable to assert freedom even for ourselves and leave aside others.
Some of the strings of "control" are visible and some are invisible and we keep dancing to the pulls and pushes of these visible and invisible strings. I feel that we can not understand "control" unless we understand "freedom". "freedom" is to break free of all the limited frames of life. It's a state where our understanding of life is not limited to what society has taught us. We are able to see through the divisions. Divisions this society has made between good and bad, right and wrong, desirable and undesirable, respect and insult, etc. We see through these divisions to understand that these divisions hold good in a context. A Russian soldier may be a good person for Russia and a bad person for Ukraine. Euthanasia may be right as per the laws of one country and wrong in the other. Compliance with the orders of Ravana may be desirable for Vibhishana when we look at that from the point of view of the administration of Lanka, but that may be absolutely undesirable when somebody reads Ramayana and examines it in totality. When Vibsihana was thrown out of Lanka by Ravana, that may look like an insult to many but the union with Rama was truly the most respectable moment in the life of Vibhishana.
It's quite difficult for the people of Lanka to realize what freedom Vibhishana enjoyed breaking free of the frame of Ravana. It is very difficult for the people to realize what freedom Buddha got by breaking free of the frame of being a prince. It requires absolute awareness to realize that we are confined to many fundamental frames. Whatever frame we operate in, it starts controlling us in a very subtle way. The climate, culture, beliefs, traditions, infrastructure, law, and in fact the entire ecosystem controls us one way or the other. Right from deciding what time to get up, what clothes to wear, and how to interact with people, to our language and manners. It becomes so natural to us that we fail to realize that many of our decisions are actually not our decisions and in fact, they are just the reflection of the "control" of the ecosystem on us.
It requires absolute "awareness" to break free of the cycle. Vibhishana was not blessed like Bharata and that's why the endeavour of Vibhishana to assert his freedom is matchless. Mira could assert that freedom from the traditions and conventions that were binding her. There are many such examples in history and mythology where people gave their lives to assert their political freedom. Many people sacrificed their lives to break free of the "very strong beliefs" of society and Socrates was forced to drink poison. The people who are not able to assert freedom become weak and weak people like to control others. The desire to "control" is probably the strongest indicator of the weakness of a character. The weaker a person, the more he would like to control. He will try different carrot-and-stick approaches to control failing to realize that it is his "weakness" that is controlling him inside. Every "whip" he cracks on others is a reflection of his "inner fear" which is making him hollow and lifeless from inside. People who taste freedom don't whip or allow themselves to be whipped. They understand the deep insecurities of the people using the whips and their lives are solely driven by love and compassion.
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