Skip to main content

Maturity to Handle Freedom

A few decades back, community rules were primary, and individual freedom always used to take a back seat vis a vis the community rules. Almost every decision used to be based on the acceptability of the community, Youngsters would not dare to drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes before their parents or elders. Times have changed significantly and no individual gives a damn about the society. However, this individual freedom may be like nuclear energy, which if used without awareness, may turn into an atom bomb and may damage and destroy the individuals. The fast-rising cases of drug addiction and crimes among children indicate that somehow, we as parents have failed to educate our kids as to how to use the newly acquired freedom.

One significant fallout of the latest developments is that the top level of the "purpose of life" has disappeared. Earlier, there were individual goals in life such as getting higher education, getting a good job, and creating wealth, but there was also a top-level goal on top of all these, and that was following the rules of the community. Once that top layer is gone, the framework of life has become headless. We have different goals, and in case of conflicts, we don't know how to resolve these conflicts. For example, we are not sure as to where the line shall be drawn when it comes to giving time to the family and at the workplace. We want to excel at the workplace which needs a lot of time and the family needs and bringing up kids well also requires an equal amount of time. We are not sure as to when to attend a social function and when to avoid it. Kids are also equally confused, about whether to have fun with their friends or study hard. Since the "purpose of life" is missing, we are not aware of the relationship between the different goals we have set for ourselves. 

Earlier, the social rules were blindly followed and they used to take care of most of these moderations. There was no possibility for the kids to run away from their studies. Right from the grandparents to parents, Chacha, and Tau, everybody would be after the kids, if they did not study hard. Everybody had a right to scold and ask intrusive questions. In joint families, the kids were under the supervision of so many adults. Now parents are working and there is no one else to supervise and the narrative is also set. "It's my life". With such freedom, if the purpose of life is not clear, there is every likelihood that freedom will be misused. That is the reason why many of the kids are getting addicted to drugs and alcohol and by the time they gain maturity to handle their freedom, they are already addicted. 

Similarly, among adults, the cases of psychological disorders are rising rapidly. That's because there is constant conflict between the goals. They are not able to decide when to switch off their WhatsApp when to say no to their bosses when to put a rest to their ambitions. They have been told that this world is highly competitive and the "fittest will survive the race". They are just running the whole of their lives, without ever contemplating where this race is taking them. There is no deliberation on the "purpose of life" and since they themselves have never contemplated the "purpose of life", they can not pass on the wisdom to their kids. The parents are fixated on "work" and the children are quite sharp to realize the futility of work-obsession and since they resist the same, they get obsessed with something else.

I feel "suppression of freedom" in the name of social norms or any other way is never going to work. That's quite a regressive step. Slavery can never be an answer to the question of how to handle freedom. We have to enable ourselves and our younger generation to handle freedom. Philosophy can no longer be a post-retirement pursuit. We have to understand the purpose of life. Our scriptures are of great help in this regard and they are being explored at a very large scale by the Western world. They provide many ways and means to "establish an inner dialogue". That "inner dialogue" reveals the purpose of life to us and we get to know the top-level goal in the hierarchy of life goals. That awareness fills us with wisdom and intelligence to handle the conflicts of life. Unless we establish that inner connection, we make ourselves quite vulnerable and when our kids see us confused and vulnerable, they look for guidance in the outside world and quite often get into the hands of evil elements who misuse their innocence and vulnerabilities. As a parent, it's our primary responsibility to establish that inner dialogue that will help the next generation to learn how to handle freedom. 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why life is so stressful?

The present-day society is the most comfortable in the entire history of humanity. We have invented machines to carry out work at home, have built highways, can fly conveniently across countries, have comfortable homes, have information of almost every kind at our fingertips, and also have AI to help us make use of the information. Advances in robotics have made many apparently impossible tasks quite easy to perform. Yet, so many countries are at war, people are suffering from psychological disorders, depression, there are broken relationships everywhere, and people are under tremendous stress. What has gone wrong in the process? Why is development not bringing happiness? Because we have chosen "comforts" over "growth". Because we have chosen "fear" over "love". Doesn't that sound strange? Why would somebody choose "fear" over "love"? Probably, we are not aware of it while making these choices. Our unconscious mind process...

A Comfortable Life full of Fears

 Why did Buddha reject the offer of a comfortable life as a prince from his father? Why do most people grab such an opportunity? Why do most people struggle all through their lives to get such a comfortable life? It is because most people can't see what Buddha could see. That is exactly why Buddha wanted to tell the secret to the entire world.  Buddha asked questions to his charioteer about disease and death. He could have closed his eyes to the suffering of the people and sat happily inside his palace. But he enquired into the nature of death and diseases, the old age and pains thereof. He asked whether anyone can avoid suffering, and came to know that it is not possible to avoid the sufferings of old age, diseases, and death. He was determined to find a solution and therefore delved deeper and deeper into the nature of suffering and its source. His inner journey revealed the secrets that he shared with the whole world. The real cause of suffering is ignorance.  We form ...

A "home" decorated with "bonsai"

 Somebody gifted a plant sometime back. When I look at the plant on the Table, it appears to me as if the plant had the potential to grow into a big tree, but we confined the little plant within the limits of the pot, and it has grown strangely. It has a thick stem but has small leaves and branches. We have designed the plants to look the way we like. What "I" want is more important than what the "plant" is. The plant will grow the way "I" like it to grow. And then, "I" would also claim that "I" love the plant.  Yesterday, I went to a coaching institute to get some test series for a competitive exam for my daughter. The guide there spoke for around 40-45 minutes on the risks and chances of getting selected in different competitive examinations. So much competition. Fear is instilled into the minds of the students from the very beginning. Everything is around fear. If they are not able to get enrolment in a professional course , they wi...