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The Guiding Light

When we discuss the futility of the division between right and wrong, we often people react by saying that in that case even killing will be right and people will get away with harming others. On the contrary, in a society that has a very strong dividing line between right and wrong, we see people killing others, raping young kids, throwing acid on the faces of the girls who refuse their dominance and slavery, employers exploiting the employees by putting them under so much of work pressure that they end up doing suicides, institutions making education such an unhealthy competition that students commit suicide under peer pressure, relatives exploiting the relatives, people misusing relationships for satisfying their desires, the haves exploiting the haves not by offering them peanuts for day-long work, the people in power exploiting the powerless people, bid business houses killing the small businessmen by adopting unfair trade practices, and the powerful countries attacking the poor countries and threatening them. 

We have a very strong sense of right and wrong and yet survival of the fittest is the norm in this world.  How do the two fit in? Can I ask a question? If the division between right and wrong is so strong then why is the world so exploitative? Why there is no equality of opportunities? Why some can demand chartered flights while others can't have even chappals to wear? How can we sleep comfortably when so many are homeless? Where is fairness and justice in this world?

I feel that there are two fundamental movements within all of us. First is the movement of "ego". Ego does not mean being arrogant, rather it means being ignorant. Ignorant about the whole. In the absence of awareness of the whole, we get stuck on our "mount stupid". That may take any form. We may feel that money or power gives us happiness and we may start feeling insecure in the absence of these things. We may believe that a particular religion or ideology is correct and may start hating others or becoming so obsessed with the ideology that we may close our eyes to the truth. Once we get fixated on one or the other thing, being a material object, some idea, or philosophy, we reach our mount stupid and become fixed and insecure. Such fixity and insecurity manifest in different forms such as aggressive behavior, exploitation, jealousy, fear, and anxiety. 

The other movement is the movement towards truth. Truth keeps inspiring us to get down our mount stupid and enter into the valley of despair. Initially, it is quite uncomfortable to leave the fixations. What will happen in the absence of money? How will I get food? How will I get medical treatment? I will be exploited in the absence of power. I will make wrong decisions if my Guru does not guide me. What will happen to me if my husband dies? Who will take care of my kids after my death? When we enter the valley of despair, our minds will be full of so many doubts and questions. This is the phase when our confidence will be at its lowest. However, there would be subtle movement of forward in the background. When we travel towards mountains, we reach one peak and then enter into the valley and then reach another peak and the next peak is higher than the first and we do not realize that we have covered a lot of distance. We have to just ensure that we do not get stuck on any "mount stupid". The spiritual world is full of "mount stupids" of hallucinations, mental visualizations, and being regarded as an enlightened person, a saint, or a pious soul. It is easy for society to make somebody following this path a Buddha so that they get rid of the responsibility of moving on the path. Once Buddha is made Buddha, Gautama needs to constantly remember that it is a trick being played by society to get rid of its own responsibility to be aware.

I feel that there is no point in choosing among the peaks. Whether we choose one or the other "mount stupid", it makes no difference. What matters is whether our journey is guided by "Light within" or not. If it is guided, we will not get stuck on any mount stupid be it money, power, knowledge, relationship, any religious dogma, or guru. We will just be guided by the light within. The problem is that there is also ignorance within that takes the form of "ego" which has a louder voice. So, at times it becomes difficult to understand whether it is the voice of "ego" or the "light within". As gathered from my interaction with a number of spiritual teachers, it appears that the only test is inner restlessness. If one is at peace and there is no inner restlessness, then one is guided by the "light within" or else by the "ego". "Ego" offers us many choices and creates conflicts while "light within" makes us free of conflicts. Initially, when we start with the questions of mathematics, they appear to be counterintuitive, however, as we practice we start developing a sort of intuition to solve them. The "light within" also becomes brighter and clearer as we travel in that direction. 


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