At any point in time, we have two alternative choices. First, to live a life based on the information we have gathered so far, we may divide the whole of life between good and bad, desirable and undesirable, likes and dislikes. We may continue to make choices aiming at what is good, desirable, and liked by us and trying to resist what is bad, undesirable, or not liked. Second, having realized the limitations of our awareness we may be willing to "try" new things that do not make much sense to us for the time being but we still try these things because we have faith that some force of nature is guiding us.
If our life is guided by the first choice, then we will always be a prisoner of the past. Our choices will always be a product of the domain of the known. We will try the career options that have been widely accepted by the society. We will land into conventional jobs or businesses. We will look for conventional partners and relations. In sum and substance, we will follow the norms of the society.
Human beings are unique creatures on this Earth who are capable of developing these social norms. Most of these norms are based on widely accepted stories. I wonder why there are so many stories about almost every festival. Nobody knows the truth behind these stories and yet they are so widely accepted and lay the foundation of many social norms. Human beings have created stories about the value of money, gold, power, and so on. Actually, any money, be it dollar or rupee is just a piece of paper and has no value unless we collectively trust that.
We have created similar stories about the purpose of life. We have a deadly cocktail of religion, morality, and social norms to support such stories. Nobody knows the real purpose of life and yet everybody is so convinced about what he believes. The more the number of people believing in such stories the greater the conviction of every person in such stories. People who are born and brought up in a homogenous society and never move away from their culture have very strong convictions about their beliefs. A girl may commit suicide due to the shame of having been raped while knowing very well that she has done nothing wrong because there is a collective belief that she has become impure and now she can not face the world. A boy may carry the responsibility of taking care of the parents from day one because society has widely told stories that the primary purpose of the life of a boy is to take care of his parents and such stories may impact his crucial life choices such as the choice of a career and marriage. There are widely told stories to the girls that the sole purpose of their lives is to keep their husbands and other family members happy and they spend their entire lives assuming this to be the purpose of their lives. There are widely told stories about money and power, especially that they make us happy and most people believe in these stories and make crucial life decisions based on such beliefs.
The human mind has a choice to believe these stories and make life choices based on such beliefs. Alternatively, we may examine and find out the reality behind these stories. That is obviously lots of work and not everybody is ready to do the same. Believing is the easiest thing while observing and examining is the toughest. However, what is easy is not necessarily fulfilling. That is probably the reason why there is so much dissatisfaction all around and such unfulfilled souls keep making the lives of everybody hell due to their insane desires. They would sit at the top of the hierarchy and make everybody dance to their tune while themselves dancing to the tune of their desires.
I feel that human life is meant for growth: both horizontal and vertical. We grow horizontally when we explore different external things such as the laws of nature, art, science, weather, climate, jungles, the human psyche, and the interplay of all these things. We grow vertically when we drop identifications with the finite to surrender to the infinite. When we grow horizontally, many of our beliefs undergo a transformation. However, when some individuals in a society grow vertically, the entire society undergoes a transformation. That is what Buddha, Jesus, and Sri Aurobindo did to the entire society. they grew vertically and in the process transformed the entire society.
Human relations are all about growing together, both horizontally and vertically. Unfortunately, people who choose the first alternative, become more and more narrow with time. If they have a relationship with someone who has made the second choice, over time, while the first one gets stuck to the stories and beliefs and becomes more and more confined, the second one grows beyond the beliefs and stories. The first one becomes insecure and tries to take support from some of those widely prevailing stories about the relationships and the second person, who has grown beyond these stories, has no interest therein. After all, relationships are not contracts that two persons have signed at a particular time and are bound by that contract forever. Relationships are there to help each other grow: both horizontally and vertically. The value of growth can not however be understood by somebody who is not willing to grow. On the other hand, growing together is a wonderful phenomenon. That seems to be the essence of all beautiful relationships. When Sri Aurobindo and the Mother grow together, they help the entire humanity to grow.
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