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Full of Knowledge, Lack of Self-Awareness

In Vipassana, we practice observation with equanimity. We practice the observation of different parts of the body, and the sensations therein, without reaction. All the reactions exist in the mind and body. The field of consciousness is beyond body and mind. Till the time we identify with the body or thoughts, we will react. We will crave for what we like and have repulsion for what we do not like. Similarly, we feel good when the body has comfortable sensations and we will feel bad when the body does not feel comfortable. We will keep reacting to get more of what we like and to avoid what we do not like. 

When we sit in meditation and our back starts paining, we would like to relax and lie down. Similarly, when our feet start paining, we would like to change our posture. If we are feeling hot due to the weather, we would like to switch on the AC. If we feel cold, we would like to wrap ourselves in a blanket. Mosquitoes, insects, and the sounds of vehicles would also disturb us. The thoughts of yesterday will run like a reel and we will keep switching from one memory to the other. We would also keep planning for the future while our eyes are closed. All these things happen with almost everybody who sits down to meditate.

The body and mind will have their natural movements. There is no doubt about that. The crucial point here is whether we look for a blanket when we feel cold or observe the cold. Whether our hand goes to the part of the body where we have itching or we observe. Observation does not mean control. It means our ability to step aside from the body and thoughts and to observe them as a third person. When we observe, we are one with the consciousness, and all possibilities exist in that state. Thought, we are so habitual to reactions that it is difficult to observe and generally we react very quickly. At best we increase the time of reaction. 

Any person who learns this art of observation has a very different way of living life. Different situations come into our lives, some we like and some we dislike. When we live in a Vipassana mode, we do not dance out of happiness after having experienced favorable situations. Similarly, we do not cry out of pain when we undergo tough times. We can maintain the state of observation. In that state of observation, we stay connected to consciousness and remain in a state of inner bliss. We have the realization of the temporariness of all the external things including our own body and thoughts. That gives us liberation from reactions and freedom to explore new possibilities. It's not cold behavior. There is love and compassion for everybody. There is a concern for all. However, at the same time a realization that until and unless people get rid of their physical and mental habit patterns, nobody can make them happy. They will always remain fixated on their "next level of desires" without being ever grateful for what they have got. 

A person who is not aware of the inner reality becomes so fixated on his "next level of desires" that he tends to forget where he has come from and what he has got in life. Most of us come from an economically challenged background and once we get money and positions, they become routine for us. We take them as a matter of tight and aim at the "next level of desires". I am amazed to read the news that people kill their parents for property, so-called "lovers" throw acid on their "beloved" when they are unable to possess them, spouses file court cases against each other and spend a significant portion of their lives in court, people spend a significant portion of their time and energy in taking revenge, and people want to earn money and power by any means. We never get to observe what's going on inside us and keep reacting more and more. We keep feeling hungry for the sugar and die of diabetes. Unless we become aware of what's happening inside, gathering all the wealth, powers, and knowledge of the world is meaningless. The habit patterns of reactions are so strong that it is almost impossible to start observing our own physical and mental habits. That's why early awareness of the process of self-observation is quite helpful. However, the sad part is that parents, and the entire society, are busy reacting all the time and there is nobody to tell the kids to observe themselves. 

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