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The Joy of a Dialogue and Pain of a Debate

 In India, we have quite an old culture of dialogues. All our Upanishads are written in a style of dialogue where one person is asking the questions and the other is answering the questions. Bhagwad Geeta and Bhagwad also have the same style. I feel that there were few fundamental requirements for such beautiful dialogues to take place. First of all, everybody is equal. Astavakra may become a guru of Janaka in Astavakra Geeta, Vashistha and Vishwamitra may answer the questions in Yoga Vashistha, or Krishna may answer the questions of Arjuna. Age, rank, position, and nothing else matters in these dialogues. What matters is the subject matter of dialogue and whoever knows that answers the questions.

Second, there is a maturity in both the persons asking the questions and answering them. That maturity requires the ability to listen. An insecure mind is always in a hurry to prove his point because what is important to such a mind is hurriedness to prove his point. The fine difference between the "self" and the "view" has disappeared and therefore "view" becomes "I" and if "I" am not able to prove my point that's like a defeat. "I" is not ready to be defeated and that's why the dialogue gets converted into a battle of words and sometimes even personal allegations. Unless all the people participating in the dialogue develop the maturity to see themselves differently from their views, they will not gain the maturity to listen. Once we start listening, half of the answers are already there with us because we now start looking from the perspective of the speaker rather than trying to prove our point. The fundamental purpose of the dialogues is growth and that can happen only when we accept that every viewpoint is limited and there is always a possibility of having a different viewpoint.

Third, the fundamental purpose of the dialogue was to search for truth, and therefore every participant shared a common goal. Nobody would settle for anything less than the truth. Arjuna would ask hundreds of questions before accepting what Krishna said and Krishna would each and every question in great detail. No question is discounted. In fact, the beauty is that Krishna would use all types of words to provoke Arjuna to ask questions in the first chapter but the moment he starts asking the questions, he would answer each and every question in great detail with a lot of patience. Because the purpose here is to understand what reality is and both the person asking the question and answering them share the common goal. 

In today's world, people have generally lost the maturity to handle dialogues. Most people have very strong identifications with age, positions, and relations. I am a father, so I am supposed to tell you what is right ignoring the fact that Prahlad could have a wider perspective of life and his father Hiranyakashyap may be trapped in fixation. I am 10 years older than you so I know more ignoring the fact that Astavakra being a young child can challenge Janaka quite older in age as well as a well-recognised Yogi of the time. I am the king and you are my employee ignoring the fact that Vashistha was always respected by Dashratha and it was Ravana who disrespected the advice of Vibhishana. A mind that is identified with the viewpoints it has can not see reality. Such a mind would be insecure and aggressive and would try to convert the dialogues into debates. The moment, we identify with anything other than the truth, that identification becomes primary and truth becomes secondary and our entire life is spent proving ourselves to be right. Even one identification is sufficient for one life and we have endless identifications and that's why it is almost impossible to have dialogues in this world. One has to really work hard to find some people who have their lives centered around truth and it is a bliss to have dialogues with such people. 

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