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Self-love

Human beings are working quite hard, and have evolved quite significantly in terms of inventions in the material world. We have round-the-clock electricity, comfortable homes, furniture, modes of transport, and international currencies, have reached Mars and the depths of the ocean. We know so much about the human body and nature. We have developed techniques to build bridges and tunnels in the most difficult terrains. Yet, we are undergoing an acute crisis of mental health where many of us are diagnosed with mental diseases and are on medicines, while many of us are suffering from mental diseases yet to be diagnosed. Anyhow how almost all of us uniformly suffer from greed and jealousy. 

It is counter-intuitive that with the advancement in the material world, our psychological well-being is taking a toll. In fact, I have been quite lucky to be in touch with some of the most senior bureaucrats, and have also seen the top businessmen and industrialists during income-tax raids. I have also had the opportunity to meet many of the spiritual preachers and heads of some of the sects and spiritual organizations. I have also met some of the simplest human beings living a blissful life. I have had one takeaway from almost all of these interactions. Unless a person learns to love self, he can't love others. However, the crucial point is what is self-love.

One needs to know self to love that. It is often interesting to see how we introduce ourselves to others. For some of us, the name is very important. There is one or the other identifier of the community we are born in and we identify with that community. Some of us identify with the material possessions we have in our name. Some identify with the intellect and take pride in their intellectual work and knowledge. Some of us take pride in family and relationships. We feel that taking care of the body, intellectually stimulating the mind, expanding material wealth, or having strong relationships is self-love. Since we do not know ourselves, we keep investing quite a lot of time in all these things that have nothing to do with ourselves. And the poor self, sitting alone in a corner keeps crying for being ignored.

We need to spend time with a person to love him. Since we do not spend time with ourselves, there is no question of loving ourselves. Most people are so empty that they do not want to face themselves naked. It is difficult for us to spend time with ourselves. We can not encounter the inner hollowness and that is the reason that we are busy almost the whole of our lives running after one or the other escape route to evade encountering the self. Unless we observe our own thoughts, greed, jealousy, ambitions, restlessness, and aggression, we will not have any occasion to see what lies beneath them. Once we gather the courage to see ourselves naked, we can see where all these emotions are taking birth. Then we will realize soon that somewhere deep down, we have developed some false meaning of life. We kept pursuing the same without ever examining, which is the fundamental reason for dissatisfaction and unfulfillment in life. We have invested the whole of our savings in the pongy scheme, and now that company is on the verge of bankruptcy. The sooner we realize the better. In a false hope of a return on investment, if we keep investing money in the pongy company, we will get nothing at the end of the day.

As we spend time with ourselves, we observe our emotions and thoughts. In the process, we understand the source of these emotions. We realize that these emotions and thoughts are like changing weather. Depending upon situations and our inner state, we keep reacting to the situations. When we are restless and disturbed, we react to the slightest of the provocation, while when rested and at peace, we do not take cognizance of a much bigger provocation. As the changing weather does not define a place, similarly these changing emotions and thoughts do not define us. What defines a place is its potential. Similarly, what defines us is the consciousness which has the potential to manifest in infinite different forms. The moment, we get to connect with the real self, our intellect becomes a tool to manifest its potential. Intellect and emotional mind are the ministers who should carry out the commands of the king. However, the king has been enslaved by the minister. When the king suddenly realizes that he is a king, he takes over the kingdom and makes the minister carry out the work at his command. Self-love is not the rulership of the minister and slavery of the king rather it is the freedom of the king and the minister carrying out the work at the command of the king. Once the king takes over, he respects the kingdom of others as well and tries to establish friendly relationships with the other kingdoms. The kingdom is no longer insecure and that is the reason why a person who loves his true self has love and compassion for everybody.



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