Probably, if we ever explore our true selves, we will soon realize that the body and the mind are just tools given to us to explore the world of matter. The true self is always in a state of bliss and it does not need pleasure from any material object. In a state of meditation, we can experience the blissful state of the self. As we remain aware of the blissful state of the self, our dependency on worldly pleasures reduces significantly and we will contend because of the internal bliss. Since we are contended, we carry out different works not for the sake of getting some pleasure out of the same, but rather without a motive, just to explore, and flow with the process. In that case, our mind is free of the calculations about the expected pleasure and real pleasure and comparison of the two. The free mind is able to give 100% attention to the task at hand and that attention brings us to the present moment, and we explore whatever we do without any distraction. That distraction-free attention makes the task at hand quite fulfilling and we lose the sense of time. The greater is the percentage of life with such a state of flow, and the greater is the degree of fulfillment.
The world is full of choices. Choices are increasing day by day. Two decades back, when we used to go to the market, there were fixed grocery shops and few brands of soaps, oil, shampoo, and every other daily use item. We used to pick one or the other without spending much time. In fact, we used to leave the decision to the shopkeeper in most of the cases. After coming back home, generally, there was not much to compare and we used to feel happy.
Today, the scenario has changed. Firstly, the Departmental stores are full of the choices. Add to that the options available on Amazon, Flipkart, Zomato, and Blinkit. We are flooded with the options. So much so that there are different websites just to make the comparisons easy and presentable to us. We should be happy with so many choices. However, we seem to be more unhappy. We are spending disproportionate time making the decisions because there is always a FOMO. We are afraid to miss something we do not know. Even after making the decision, we keep comparing. For example, we undertake a tour and post the pictures on Facebook. There would be 100s of suggestions on our tour.
I feel that any intelligent mind will try to understand the problem as to why the increasing choices are reducing happiness. The most fundamental reason is that we have placed the premium in the very wrong place. Fundamentally, the market is making all these choices available to us because the market is interested in charging a huge premium for that little difference in quality that has no value in our lives except for psychological satisfaction. These premium products make us feel special or add an extra little comfort to our lives and charge huge money for the same. For example, branded clothes, sold at a very high price, are probably hit because they provide a sense of exclusivity to those who wear them.
In every such deal, the market is targeting two different comforts. First, the comfort of the body. For example, some shoe brands offer better cushions and are lightweight. Few apparel brands offer clothes that do not require ironing. Some brands of chocolates and sweets offer a different taste. The second is the comfort of being special. They target the self-image. They offer an exclusive club for a price. Our body feels pleasant sensations when we get some physical comforts such as good taste, or comfortable shoes or clothes. Our body also feels the same pleasure when our self-image is uplifted. When we are made to feel exclusive.
However, we fail to appreciate two fundamental flaws with these pleasures. First of all, these pleasures are very temporary and short-lasting. They have a very short life. Once the initial euphoria is over, these things hardly give us pleasure. Secondly, though these things fail to give us any pleasure, we develop withdrawal symptoms. For example, if we get to sit in AC cars, the initial few times, we will feel pleasure and then we will get used to the same. After that there will not be any pleasure, rather there will be withdrawal symptoms and we will experience unpleasant sensations if we are forced to sit in a non-AC car.
This is because of the reason that happiness is a result of a more pleasant sensation than the expected one and sadness is the result of a less pleasant sensation than the expected one. Our brain sets expectations based on experiences. if we get used to sitting in an AC car, our brain sets expectations accordingly and if we regularly sit in a non-AC vehicle, our brain sets the expectations accordingly. The same thing happens with food, movies, and every other thing. That's why pleasant surprises are so special because there is no expectation. That's why accidents are so painful. That's why there are specialists in pain management who reset our expectations of the pain during a surgical process.
We set our expectations from different processes because these expectations set our motivation. We want a particular dose of pleasure and work for the same. If we get the same or more dose, we are happy, else sad. The problem with this way of living is that our whole lives, we keep making calculations of pleasure that we will drive from different processes and keep selecting the processes that give us maximum pleasure and keep calculating the actual pleasure with the expected one and keep being happy or unhappy. We never examine the fundamental question, as to why do we need these pleasant sensations at the very first instance. Isn't it because we have never explored the possibility of our existence beyond the body and mind? That's why pleasure is the final goal of living.
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