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Easy and Tough choices

We always have easy and tough choices in our lives. The easy options are generally less fulfilling and the difficult ones are more fulfilling. The reason is quite simple. We all have a limited life and time is the essence of life. Generally, in a particular moment, we have very limited attention at the moment. The task at hand generally does not require complete attention. That is why a significant portion of our attention remains in the background thinking about the past and the future. This means that we remain aware of only a fraction of the possibilities during our lives and that is the reason why we live only a very small fraction of our lives and the rest of the time we remain unconscious. The proportion of the time, we are aware of the present moment decides how fulfilled our life is. The more the proportion of time, we are aware of the present moment the more fulfilled our life is.

For example, when I started preparation for the civil services, it was so challenging and so many subjects were so new to me that it forced my attention to be almost 100% to the classes and the present moment. There is not much scope for thinking about the past or future and that made the phase of preparation for the civil services examination so fulfilling. Similarly, when I started to learn Astrology for the first time in 2011, after almost a few years, every day was a new learning for me. There would come some idea or hypothesis to my mind and I would apply the same to a few hundred horoscopes I had at that point in time and then verify whether there exists correlations and try different combinations and permutations. That required 100% awareness to that moment else it would not be possible to keep track of so many variables. That is why I recall that phase was quite fulfilling. 

Similarly, when I did my first Vipassana camp in 2012, there took place a significant reconciliation of the scientific concepts in the domain of quantum physics, and neurology that I learned over a period of time and the concepts of mythology and astrology. I distinctly remember that during walks during the lunch break, there was so much churning going in my mind and I still have pictorial memories of those times and the insights gained in that phase. Similarly, whenever I had undertaken certain assignments at different points in time in my career that required new learnings such assignments gave me quite a good degree of fulfillment.

I am sure all of us have had similar experiences in our lives. Generally, we avoid tough choices and fall into the trap of easy choices. For example, we have a choice to get up early in the morning to keep sleeping till late. I am sure that every time we decide to get up early, we realize what we are missing while sleeping in bed. There are so many things that we can do in the morning like the morning walk, exercises, Yoga, meditation, cycling, tennis, badminton, and so on. We go for a walk daily and just listen to the birds and look at different creatures in the park, and the lovely trees make the beginning of the day so fulfilling.

We have an option in the office. To take new initiatives or to just pass the time. I am sure every time we take a new initiative, it requires more attention in the present moment. We plan for the idea and get it executed. So many problems come in the way and we take them as a challenge and try to find out solutions. In the process, we have to devote 100% time and energy to the challenge. That brings our attention to the present moment and we get a feeling of fulfillment. We have similar options available in every sphere of life. We may choose easy careers that do not require clearing tough examinations. Or we may take up the challenge of studying hard and take up complex career options that require hard work and intelligence. In the process, at times we struggle but during these phases of struggle, we try to give 100% attention to the subject matter and slowly start enjoying the subject, and that makes the studies quite fulfilling.

We have similar options in relationships. We have both the easy and tough options. The easy option is to keep the relationship shallow. That does not require much effort. But, fulfilling relations requires hard work. We need to understand the partner, his deep unconscious, which he himself may not be aware of, his ambitions, dreams, philosophy of life, and mindset. We also need to enquire about our own psyche. Since we all are the products of our bringing-up and conditioning, and most of this conditioning happens at an unconscious level, which we are quite unaware of, it is quite a lot of work. However, this is very fulfilling as well. Once we get to know ourselves, at the deepest level, and our partner, at similar deepest levels, the connection that we form with each other is amazing. The discussions with each other are amazing and fulfilling.

Thus, we have an option always to choose. The more easy options we choose, the more comfortable we are. But that makes life less and less fulfilled. We end up living routine lives and die with a deep feeling of having lived an unfulfilled life. On the other hand, tough choices require a lot of hard work, both physically and mentally. However, challenges magically bring attention to the present moment. Attention in the present moment makes us live 100% rather than a fraction of the life we keep living otherwise. That is the reason why we ought to keep testing our limits and keep trying one or the other things that lie in the domain of the unknown. That makes us think afresh and that makes us learn new skills. 



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