We all have to make so many decisions each day and in fact each moment. What to eat for breakfast, lunch, or dinner? Whether to go for a walk or do yoga or jogging? Whether to listen to a friend or listen to our own heart? What career to choose? Which job to take? Whom to marry? Which destination to finalize for holidaying? Whether to say "no" or not? There are so many decisions that we make each day. Obviously, we face conflicts while making these decisions.
There are people who are relatively certain of their decisions, while there are many who are quite confused while making these decisions. Is clarity of mind to make all these decisions related to spiritual evolution? It's true that a spiritually evolved human being would have greater clarity while making these decisions. However, the reverse is not true. A person who has clarity of mind, while making these decisions, need not necessarily be spiritual. The reason is quite simple. The lesser we know more certain we are. For example, a child who does not know about the bacteria or virus has no confusion playing outdoors. He can play in the mud and be happy because he has no idea about the entire world of microbes. That is why he is quite unaware of the consequences.
As the child gets diseases after playing outdoors, he gets the first glimpse of the world of viruses and bacteria and becomes afraid after the first major sickness. He gets frightened of the consequences and tries to avoid the exposure. However, soon he understands that washing his hands and taking a bath with soap after coming back from the playground reduces his chances of falling ill significantly.
Similarly, when we know very little we behave very boldly in many circumstances. As we know more, we start getting confused till the time we know that it is impossible to know everything and we need to form certain hypotheses to live life. For example, as a child, we are sure that we want to become doctors or engineers, or whatever we wish. There is no conflict at that point in time. It is because our information and exposure are quite limited and with that limited exposure, we have chosen the best option and therefore there is no question of confusion. However, as we move to higher standards and come in contact with different people, we get information about more career options and start comparing. Even our likes and dislikes undergo a rapid change. We get confused. However, there comes a time when we have to take decisions and we can not defer it anymore. That time we take the decision based on the information at hand and certain hypotheses.
For example, we are not sure what we exactly want from life. We are also not sure as to what different career options offer us. However, we form a certain hypothesis based on the feedback we receive from colleagues, friends, and relatives. We get feedback not only about what different career options provide to us but also about what would make us happy in our lives. However, that feedback is just a second-hand experience that has very little real value. Each human being is different from the other. Since we have no option other than making a decision, we go by the second-hand experience and make a decision. What happens after that is quite interesting.
Most of us fall into the trap of "confirmation bias". We try to justify whatever decision we have taken and close our eyes to the other possibilities. On the other hand, few remain open and aware of reality. They look at the other possibilities and keep correcting their course of life. The more a person falls into the trap of "confirmation bias", the more he becomes certain and adamant. On the other hand, the person who remains open to possibilities is never so sure. Slowly, the first type of people become more and more narrow while the second type of people become more and more wider. Out of that openness and wide exposure, slowly they are able to see multiple perspectives of a situation and that gives them the ability to calibrate their responses to the situations very fast. Since they get used to such calibration and slowly become an expert in that, to others, they appear to be very sure while in reality, they are able to do the calibration so quickly and effortlessly that they appear to be certain and clear.
Why do most of us fall into the trap of confirmation bias? It is because we never learn to live with the uncertainties of life. Since childhood, we are not exposed to death. We take death as a disaster while that is the ultimate reality of life. similarly, suffering is the reality of life. When we don't accept the realities of life, we start constructing a false world of our imaginations and start living therein. As and when circumstances challenge that imaginary world we have made for ourselves, we cut off a part of the same and make our world narrower. We get so obsessed with the meaning of life that we keep running away from reality. Accepting the reality would mean that we have wasted our life so far. That is the reason as we grow older, it becomes more difficult for us to even look at reality and we like to stick to the meaning of the world we have created in our minds. We like meeting people who share the same worldview and we become more and more limited.
Awareness is not a child's play. It makes us uncertain. Reality does not exist to make us happy. The truth may not always be sweet. So, we make choices. We may choose artificial sweet or natural sour. Each choice has its own consequences. Truth may be sour but it has its own advantages. It is soul-satisfying. If we live a life of truth, we live a fulfilling life. It is because truth is the most prominent attribute of the soul. On the other hand, the more our life is driven by that "artificial worldview", the more we stay away from our soul and therefore more and more dissatisfied and discontented we feel. That is the reason behind depression, mid-life crises, stress, and so many psychological disorders such as Obsessive-compulsive disorders. We have a choice to make and our choice will directly and indirectly impact the choices of our kids.
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