Fear, ambition, and dreams are the three emotions around which the whole of our lives are centered. As kids, we have a fine balance of these three however, as we grow old, dreams become faint and fears become stronger. What happens in the process is a matter of examination.
All the kids have dreams. Dreams of a fairyland, where everything is magical. Dreams of a free world where we do not need a Visa to visit any country, a world where there is no compulsion to become a doctor or an engineer and everybody may pursue his interests and hobbies, where there is no aggression and bullying and everybody is treated with fairness. A world that is full of love and we can be what we are truly and there is no space for fakeness and pretensions. Where we trust each other and open our hearts out to even strangers.
An adult will look at this dream world snobbishly and reject such a possibility to be childish. But what is the ideal world of an adult? A world that is full of desires for pleasures. A world wherein material objects give pleasure. Fat bank balance, powers, and properties coupled with the fear of losing them. Fear is just the other side of pleasure. The more we feel happy with accumulation, the more we have the fear of losing them. Deep-rooted in all these fears, adults have no courage left to even accept the possibilities of a dream world. Even the idea of a dream world appears to be uncomfortable to the adults and therefore they just want to kill the idea in the very beginning.
These adults, as parents and relatives, kill the dream world of the kids. They pass on their fears to the kids. They start brainwashing the kids that if they do not become doctors or engineers, they will be big failures. Kids initially rebel against these things but due to continuous reinforcement, they end up believing the falsity told to them by the entire society together. They develop a fear of failure. What if I fail an examination? What if my teachers do not like me? What if the parents are not satisfied with my performance? What if my friends reject me? Slowly with constant fear, these questions start turning into the mental stores about incompetence and the feeling that "I am not good enough". These stories are validated again and again by the elders constantly and soon fears leave no space for the dream world.
Fear has a functional role. A plant needs protection so long as it is small so that the cows and buffaloes do not chew it. Similarly, kids are also vulnerable and therefore they need protection. However, that protection does not mean protection from the Sun. If we cover a plant in the name of protection, it will not get the sunlight and die very soon. Similarly, parents need to protect their kid's physical and mental vulnerabilities from coming into contact with evil people that may lure the innocent and do some permanent damage to the kids. That is why kids are told not to talk to strangers and take care of themselves. However, killing the dream world of the kids in the name of protection is not justified.
Kids also need to learn that there are dangers in society because all types of people are there in society. There are people who can harm an innocent for their small gain. This harm may have long-term impacts and therefore fear has a functional role. As a kid, we sometimes are not able to differentiate between our disinterest in the studies due to our dreams or laziness. That is the reason why the teachers try to encourage the kids to study hard. In fact, our dreams are also limited by the exposure we get. A rocket scientist will have the dreams to go to Mars while a kid may have the dreams to ride on the kite and experience flying. As we study and get experience of life, our dreams marry to reality. Imagination turns into projects. However, for that to happen, we need a solid foundation so that we can use the technology and explore the ideas and concepts that present-day scientists have already explored. We need to study to make our dreams turn true and not due to the fear of failure.
Since the world of adults is full of fear and desires, they develop ambitions. Since money is the medium of exchange to get most of the pleasures in this world, therefore most of the ambitions of the adults center around money. The rest of the pleasures are taken care of by power and therefore there is a huge charm for power in present-day society. Parents have different ambitions, some fulfilled and the rest unfulfilled. The kids become their tools to achieve whatever they could not achieve in their lives. They pass on their unfulfilled ambitions to the kids. Ambitions give strength in the material world like the roots give strength to the plant. However, they have no utility beyond that. A tree with no trunk or leaves and only deep wide roots is of no use.
I feel that as parents, our first and foremost responsibility is to help the kids dream. Dreams of a divine world. The driving force of their life should be these dreams. Knowingly or unknowingly the parents pass on their fears and unfulfilled ambitions to the kids. That kills the dream world of the kids and makes them full of fear for the rest of their lives. That limits the growth of the kids. Their life becomes narrow and limited and slowly they grow full of fears. If kids learn to stay aware and examine everything without these fears and biases, they will never lose touch with the truth and reality. That connection with reality will never let them close down and they will always stay connected to the dream world. Because the dream world is divine. The more people stay connected to that divine world, the more it will be a reality on this earth.
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