We may never be able to fill a pot that has a hole in its bottom with whatever efforts we make. On the other hand, even an ocean may be filled with persistent efforts. There are so many people in this world who keep complaining for almost the whole of their lives. They are never happy and keep passing on negativity to others. While on the other hand, many remain always happy irrespective of the circumstances. Sometimes it appears to me as if happiness is a choice. We may feel gratitude for every small thing in our life. On the other hand, we may complain about the slightest of problems.
All of us take birth from the same consciousness and the greatest proof of the consciousness is the coordination in different parts of our body. How the heart coordinates with the stomach and brain pumping more blood into the stomach when the food is to be digested, without any conscious efforts on our part. Yesterday I got a health check-up done and I was amazed to see how the delicate balance of different parameters of the body is maintained without any conscious effort and then we take the credit of exercising choices. Even the slightest of parameters here and there can make our life hell and yet we do not feel gratitude for a well-functioning body.
Most of us ignore the fact that life is almost an impossibility, if we look at the fine and delicate balance of different forces of nature required to sustain life. Earth is at the just right distance from the Sun, at the just right angle, and at the just right speed, the temperature is just perfect for living beings to survive. The body is so intelligently designed that it is able to maintain a constant temperature within. All these apparently impossible settings make life possible on Earth. We ignore all these blessings and focus on what we do not have. We keep making mental stories of what we do not have. We develop ambitions to acquire the beautiful home our neighbor has, a bank balance with multiple zeros, visits to a number of countries, the power that is recognized by everybody, parties, and entertainment that will never end, and a fit body that will never fall ill or die.
We have not tasted any of these things, and yet remain so sure about the pleasure these things are going to provide us. We realize the futility of most things when we achieve them but then form many more stories about some other things. There is some fundamental flaw in our thinking that makes us commit this stupidity again and again. I feel that the most fundamental reasons for the formation of such stories and our fixation on these stories are two: Firstly our ignorance of the reality that exists due to our laziness to examine the reality and observe. Knowing reality requires examination which requires observation which requires attention with awareness. We are so busy with our mental stories that there is hardly any space left in the RAM of the mind. We keep struggling like a computer hanging due to many windows open on the screen and the RAM being unable to take the load. This busy RAM does not leave any space for the observation of reality. We keep repeating our mental stories because that is the easiest thing and keep moving further away from reality to reach a state where our whole existence is based on the false world we have created in our minds.
Secondly, these stories are supported by the society. Generally, we select our own society. We stay with like-minded people who believe in the same reality that we believe in. We validate the mental stories of each other and that is how these stories look more real. Due to these two fundamental reasons, we live in a world of mental stories about the world. We are so obsessed with these mental stories that there is hardly any opportunity for a reality check. Even if God sends such a reality check in the form of some contingency or accident, we just burst that aside in a few days and get back to the world of mental stories.
Such a person is so full of these mental stories that there is hardly any scope for introspection. He is so full of ambitions and desires, that there is no scope for gratitude. Such a person may behave in two different ways. Either he may make more and more efforts to fulfill his desires and ambitions, or he may become dependent on some other person to fulfill his desires and ambitions. Generally, the other person exploits such relationships. In fact, both exploit the relationship their own way. I feel that the relationship of dependency is the worst relationship for the giver and taker. The taker will never be satisfied whatever efforts the giver makes. It is because he is so fixated on his desires and ambitions, and the mental stories around them that there is no scope for looking at the reality. There is no question of feeling gratitude because there is no space left in the RAM for gratitude. It is so full of me and myself and the stories about the desired objects, the ambitions, the expectations from others, and the stories holding the partner guilty that there is no scope for self-introspection. Since the dependent gets sympathy from society, such mental stories get validated, leaving almost no scope for looking at reality and connecting to life.
Therefore, I feel that dependency makes the life of the taker more and more limited and the life of the giver more and more burdensome. With that limited perspective, there is bound to come a day when the giver declares enough is enough. That day the giver becomes the villain and he becomes responsible for every bad thing in the life of the taker. It does not matter what the giver had been providing the whole of his life. In such situations, the dependent person may either start crying or shouting: both of which are just two different expressions of grief. Since the dependent was so far enjoying the desired objects without effort, suddenly he feels as if somebody has taken away his life. Just like a beggar cursing the donor, who has been donating the whole of his life, for not having donated. Some of these dependents enter into revenge mode and start making the lives of givers hell.
Probably, we all need to realize the consequences of the mental laziness. If we do not stay aware in each of the moments, we compromise observation. We create a distance from reality and the mental stories that are just figments of our imaginations. We start living in the world of mental stories and slowly these mental stories start driving our lives. The only remedy is to be aware. Awareness brings observation of reality which in turn challenges the old mental stories and the more we challenge such stories the more we get back to the world of reality. We regain the lost wisdom. We understand how limited and narrow is our own understanding of the world. We understand how all the beings in this world are suffering from their own mental stories and that brings love and compassion to help others come out of their own mental stories and to help them live a meaningful and fulfilling life rather than a life of greed, ambitions, fear, jealousy, hatred, and blame game.
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