Life is full of responsibilities. We have to be responsible for our studies, responsible as a son or daughter, as a friend, as an employee, as a husband or wife, as a member of the society, and as a father or mother to take care of the kids. However, responsibility in any relationship may not be sustainable unless the following two elements are there:
1. Both have trust in each other; and
2. Both of them understand and appreciate the aspirations of each other.
In some of the relationships, one of the partners feels more responsible than the other. Such as the relationship of a parent with a child. Parents know that the child is dependent and is not sufficiently exposed to make his decisions for life. Parents make many decisions for their children. However, in such relationships, the child responds with unshakable trust in the parents. The childish mind can not easily accept the seemingly tough decisions for him unless that unshakable trust exists. That trust is at the core of a parent-child relationship. Sometimes, this trust disappears and even the parent-child relationships turn sour in such situations.
In an adult-to-adult relationship, both the partners generally take the responsibility. However, there come occasions when any of the partners may feel that he is taking more responsibility and the other partner is taking comparatively less responsibility. In these moments, what matters is the trust between the partners.
A question arises where does this trust come from and where does it disappear in relationships that turn sour? Probably this trust comes from love. Love not in the worldly sense but in a spiritual sense. Love means connection to the consciousness. The more a person is fixated on his body or mind or any of the thoughts his mind has created, the more he gets disconnected from that love inside. If one is not connected to one's inner self, there is no question of connecting to others. At best such an external connection may be just a marriage of convenience that may last as long as it serves the purpose. So long as it gives the pleasure one is seeking, such a bond continues. Just like the bond between two atoms seeking electrons. Love is not like ionic or covalent bonds. Rather it is like nuclear fusion whereby two atoms merge with each other and that is why it is so full of energy.
Generally, in this world, we are born and brought up not to love. We are conditioned since our childhood to live a life of competition and we are told that we are here to win the race. The race starts with the sperm not willing to open our eyes to the fact of life that the winner stands alone at the end of the race. Somehow we get so disconnected from the inner being that we are not able to realize that winning is meaningless if we have to stand alone. Since we lack that connection to the inner self, we are unable to connect to our partners and therefore there is no trust. There is just seeking from each other. Two dissatisfied souls seek what they want from each other. Seeking creates expectations and expectations are difficult to fulfill because the more they are fulfilled the stronger they grow.
The second element is also equally important in any relationship. That is mutual understanding and appreciation of the aspirations of each other. This life is not just to pass the time. Each of the souls has its own journey and its own aspirations that come from its Pararabdha. These are the takeaways from different lives the soul has undergone. That gives the meaning of life to a person. These aspirations are the life force of any person and therefore need to be understood by the partner. Devoid of these, a person becomes just lifeless. Different persons may have different aspirations however, mutual understanding and appreciation make life beautiful, and disregard these aspirations by any of the partners makes relationships a burden.
I feel that life is beautiful and relationships make life wonderful. We miss these wonders of life due to ignorance. If we just connect to our inner selves, we are filled with love and compassion towards our partners. That inner connection also brings the understanding of the wideness and diversity of life. That brings mutual understanding and appreciation of each other's aspirations in life. We give space to each other to grow in a unique way. Trust in relationships allows us to find ways and means to maneuver the relationships with such diversity and differences. That makes life beautiful like different flowers in the garden blooming together.
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