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Compassion and Sympathy

Compassion is a buzzword in the spiritual world. It is often said that we should have compassion with everybody around us. Of course, if we are connected to our soul, we will be connected to all other beings. That connection will bring compassion naturally. If we see anybody in need or pain, there would be a natural inclination to help that person. There is no doubt about the same. We need not make efforts for this. This automatically happens as we drop fixation on the material things and thoughts and move inwards.

However, there comes a question. Is compassion unconditional? Did Arjuna have compassion with Karna? Did Rama have compassion with Ravana? Did Gandhi have compassion with the British? The moot question is whether we can have compassion with somebody who is fixated on greed, self-interest, and ambitions. Whether we can have compassion with somebody who is self-obsessed? Can we have compassion for a mosquito that bites the whole of the night when we sleep?

I feel that compassion is not an external concept. Sympathy is external. For example, we meet a hungry beggar and feel that he is hungry and give him the food. We have a feeling that food is necessary for survival and the beggar is asking for the food and we develop sympathy and give him the food. That is sympathy. We connect to an external need and see that a person does not have sufficient to satiate that need and that's how we develop sympathy. We develop sympathy for a person who has lost somebody near and dear because we connect to our near and dear ones and can therefore feel how that loss would look like to us therefore when we see that person undergoing the loss, we mirror those emotions and feel sympathy.

However, compassion is completely different. Compassion comes from love and love comes with the inner connection. Love is a connection of the souls where external things and thoughts are irrelevant. That inner connection requires complete awareness. Complete attention to all the external phenomena. Just like a witness. So that we can see the temporariness of all the external phenomena and get rid of all the fixations. Sympathy is a product of the thoughts. We are fixated on the thought that food is necessary for survival or death is bad and with that fixation, we look at others and when we find them in difficulties, we feel sympathy. Sympathy promotes fixation, on the other hand, love promotes growth and exploration. 

I remember one instance which was discussed during the Sunday Dialogue of J Krishnamurti Foundation. Gitti ma'am met a boy on the road and the boy asks for some money. She, rather than giving the money, asks that boy to share some of the popcorn that the boy has in his hands. The boy shares some of the popcorn and both have them and feel an inner bond. Giving money is sympathy where the giver puts a lot of premium on the need for money and feels that the boy needs some money for his survival. Thus, the givet develops sympathy and gives the money. On the other hand, sharing the popcorn comes out of love. In that case, there is a complete awareness that all the external possessions including money have a very limited role. One is not fixated on his mental concepts of rich and poor. In that state of awareness, there is no division of giver and taker. There is love and with that love emerges compassion whereby the two want to share. That sharing is beautiful.

Comping back to the main question, Rama had love with Ravana, not for his actions and behaviors, but with his soul. That is why as soon as Ravana realizes his fault, and gets free of his fixations, Rama asks Laksmana to take life lessons from Ravana. There is no ill will in the mind of Rama. At the same time, he does not promote the fixation of Ravana with certain thoughts because Rama himself is not fixated on any thought. Rama is completely aware of the moment and can see the temporariness of all the thoughts and material objects. He therefore can see that Ravana is fixated and obsessed with falsities. He gives many opportunities to Ravana to correct his understanding. However, Rama is aware that life and death are just two events in the eternal journey of the soul and therefore knows that killing Ravana is necessary for his growth. He can not leave Ravana with his ego alive since that sympathetic attitude will be discompassionate for the rest of humanity.

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