We are all so connected and yet so disconnected from each other. We are closely knitted to each other in a close unit such as a family or a small organization. Yet, there are so many conflicts in even such closely-knit relationships. Siblings fight with each other. Spouses have a long history of fighting with each other. In fact, we are happy with shallow relationships. Intense relationships are like fire and we cannot bear their heat.
Strangely, we all feel the need for intense relationships. We all need to share our deepest secrets with somebody, whom we can rely on blindly. Yet, almost all our intense relationships are quite stressful. Probably, there is one fundamental cause of this conflict. We all feel lost and lonely in this world. That loneliness is due to the loss of the inner connection with the Divine. Lost in an unknown city, we look for a person who can tell us the address of our home. Alas, every other person in the town has equally lost the address of his home. It's not easy to bear the sense of being at a loss for a long period of time. Therefore as a defense mechanism, most of us resort to pretensions. We pretend to know ourselves and be happy.
Slowly, while living life, these pretensions start appearing to be the reality and we start believing in them. Whenever we see a new visitor to the town who is confused and lost, we try to convince him about the pretensions that we have been convinced with. We are convinced that life is all about fun and pleasures and he should make money and accumulate power to get all their pleasures. We tell him the significance of marrying, having kids, having a well-paid job, money, networking, positions, and power. We tell him that by acquiring all these things, he will be at home.
Most of the newcomers to the town fall into the trap. They too join the other dwellers of the town and start participating in the race for the mirage. Even if certain questions come to our minds, we hardly gather the courage to examine them. Even if we examine and find something out of place, and illogical, we hardly dare to speak it out. Moving with the crowd has its own inertia. Challenging the mass opinions requires utmost awareness and courage. It's comfortable to be a part of the crowd, even if the crowd is moving in a false direction.
When we live life this way, we get used to pretensions. Living in these pretensions, we slowly forget the reality. We slowly forget that we were looking for our home. In fact, if somebody tries to recall us, we feel frightened. It looks so frightening to acknowledge that we have wasted our precious lives in pretensions. We create an image of ourselves having money, properties, jobs, power, and networks. This image becomes more dear to us than our true selves. We communicate with each other through these images. That is the reason that we can not bear the fire of an intense relationship that has the capacity to burn these images and make us naked.
Yet, lucky are those who gather the courage to enter into an intense relationship where the fire of the truth burns entire artificiality and pretension. One stands naked without the clothes of the self-image. In that state of purity, two souls talk to each other without pretensions. Once that happens, there are no conflicts. There is complete synergy in the relationship. There is no judgment. Such relationships flow organically without the need for any artificial fertilizer or manure. Such organic relationships actually supply oxygen to this world which is essential for its survival.
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