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Why do we believe and behave differently?

पोथी पढ़ि पढ़ि जग मुआ, पंडित भया न कोय ।
ढाई आखर प्रेम का, पढ़े सो पंडित होय ।।

This is a famous couplet from Kabir. It means that we may read thousands of books and scriptures and yet may behave stupidly. To be wise just requires reading a few words of love. It looks quite counterintuitive. Society places a high premium on intellect. Our entire education system aims to develop the logic and intellect of children. Is that all waste? Moreover, we all love. We love our family, kids, friends, and relatives. Going by this logic, everybody should be wise because almost everybody in today's world has not only read a few words of love but even more, and in addition to that, we all read hundreds of books in school, and therefore, we should be super wise.

On the contrary, the reality of the world today is that the most intelligent people look so stupid. Their understanding of life is quite shallow. They are mostly full of fear and aggression. There is a constant rise in mental disorders in almost all societies. In most developed societies, a very large population is at risk of mental diseases. Across Europe, the share of adults at risk of depression was 55 percent in 2022, with Poland, Greece, and Cyprus having the highest shares at 65 percent. We can see around us people suffering from depression. Divorces are rampant. Even worse than divorce are the cases where both husband and wife are constantly suffering in the relationship. The relationships that should have been our safe havens have turned into living hells. The instances of children acquiring the property of their parents and kicking them out of their home have become quite rampant. We can see all types of crimes. The neo-terrorists are well-educated from the best universities in the world. The neo-criminals are hackers and cyber criminals who have received their education from the best universities. It seems quite a complicated puzzle as to what is going wrong. 

Probably, we need to understand how the brain works to solve this puzzle. Our brain works just like a computer. It has a memory like that of a computer and has a processing capacity. We may play any movie or work on any documents that are stored in the memory of the computer. Similarly, we can recall any thought or experience that is stored in our brain and can play it like a movie. When we sit alone, having nothing to do, the old memories play like a movie in our minds. When we meet an old friend, we become nostalgic and recall the "good old days". The brain not only stores memory, but also makes decisions. We make decisions to say "Yes" or "No" to so many things almost every day. How do we make decisions? For example, a friend asks to plan together for a holiday. How do we decide? It looks like a very simple decision, but actually it is quite complex. Our "Yes" or "No" would depend upon whenther we like or dislike the company of our friend, the expenditure, alternative use of money, the comfort of spouse and kids with the friend and his family, difficulties in getting the booking, possibilities of leave, timing of the trip, examination schedule of the kids, schedule of spouse, whether we like that place or want to go to a different place, and so on. 

Almost all our decisions are as complicated or even more complicated. But we have to make decisions quickly. There are two problems that our brains have to solve. First, there is not enough data to give clarity on each and every aspect of the decision. For example, we are not actually aware of how we are going to feel with the other family. We are not sure of the weather out there on the scheduled dates. We are not sure of other alternatives. Therefore, our brain has inherent limitations in processing the data. Second, and more importantly, our brains do not know how to resolve the conflicts. For example, if I feel good with my friend but my wife does not, then how to make a decision? What if I like to visit a quieter place while my friend likes to go to a happening town? What if kids want to visit a different place altogether? What if I have limited money and the friend has no problem spending money? There would be thousands of conflicts of this type in a simple decision like planning a holiday trip. People try to address the first issue by gathering more and more information to be able to make informed decisions. But the second issue remains unresolved.

Not so that Hitler would not have had a conflict as to whether to wage a war or not. But somewhere his brain had a very strong conviction for racial supremacy, and that conviction was so strong that he did not hesitate to wage a war and kill millions of Jews. Not so that Hitler did not love anybody. He loved a few people very close to him, definitely. Thus, he had a very strong conviction, and due to that, he closed his eyes to the pains of millions of people who suffered as a result of his actions. He could manipulate the ambitions of millions of people in his country to fulfil his dreams. We all have our own convictions and become blind to reality when it comes to our beliefs. That's how the most intelligent brains make the most stupid decisions. That's what happens in almost every family and society. People with very strong beliefs manipulate others. People want power at any cost and make their relationships a tool to gather this power. For many parents, their social validation is so important that they make their kids also a tool to get this social validation. For some, wealth is so important that they even kill their relatives to capture their wealth and properties. For some people, getting recognition at the workplace is so important that they adopt all sorts of techniques, including false projection of self, manipulating the information, and taking undue favours from powerful people.

This is what Kabir indicates when he says "ढाई आखर प्रेम का, पढ़े सो पंडित होय". It's about resetting the center of life. ढाई आखर of love means reestablishing that inner connection. Our strong drive to gather material possessions strongly indicates our inner disconnection. When we say we love someone, do we even truly understand what love is? Can love ever be limited? Would Krishna say that he loves Radha and Arjuna? Krishna loves even Duryodhana, which is why he goes to meet him to convince him to give away five villages to the Pandavas. However, Duryodhana is convinced that the kingdom of Hastinapur is his source of happiness. Once we understand what love means and how it feels, we will love everyone willing to connect with that beautiful world. Why would we be selective? Our beliefs and convictions are blind, and they are not love. That's why each of us must choose between our beliefs and love. In fact, if someone experiences love, there is no choice left. That is what Kabir indicates. People are so convinced of their "beliefs and convictions" that they outrightly reject love, even if God comes to their door with blessings. That's why, unless we establish that inner connection, the more we read, the sharper our intellect becomes, and the better our logic is to defend our "beliefs and convictions," the more foolish we will continue to act. Our "beliefs and convictions" can make us hallucinate and close our brains to observing reality, and that's where it becomes quite dangerous. 


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