The word "responsibilities" originated from the word "response." Responsibilities are something we respond to. We respond to the things we are concerned about. The first thing we are concerned about is our own body. The moment we feel any pain in any part of our body, we respond quickly. Even a newborn baby responds to pain in their body. A newborn baby does not feel responsible for anything other than his body. However, as we grow up, we feel responsible towards many other things such as parents, wife, kids, job, friends, relatives, and so many more things. How do we assume these responsibilities? Why do different people feel responsible for different things? How can one person feel so responsible towards trees and forests that he spends the whole of his life to save forests, while the other person feels so responsible for his family that he cuts down trees to get a livelihood for his family?
I feel that it's quite a complicated matrix. Our primary concern, as a baby, remains with the body. We are hardwired to our bodies, and we need not make efforts to feel the pain in different parts of our bodies. That's instant and automatic. That's why we want to prevent pain and preserve our bodies. The first need to preserve our bodies is food and shelter, which are provided by our parents. That's why an emotional bond is formed with the parents at a very early age. That's why this bond is almost as strong as the bond with our bodies. That's why we are always concerned about parents and feel responsible. A baby establishing such a bond with the parents is understandable, but why do parents form such a bond with their kids? That's where it becomes quite interesting.
As we grow, we feel more insecure. We realize the vulnerabilities of this world, and that's when we search for different defense mechanisms to survive in this brutal world. We realize that it's difficult to face this world alone, and that's why we want to form groups. We are already a part of the larger group called the nation that gives us security from external attacks. We are also a part of a community that provides us with help in the moments of crisis. For example, if there is a death in our family or an acute financial crisis, society makes us feel comfortable by providing certain support. That's why validation of that society matters a lot to us. However, when it comes to day-to-day life and more private space, we need a few people whom we can share our insecurities with and support each other daily. That's where the role of family, relatives, and friends. That's why there is a very strong desire in almost every human being to have close friends, a wife, and kids. That's why parents are equally concerned about their kids. That's why we are so concerned about our family, friends, and relatives.
Is fear the sole reason for such bonds and concern for each other? Definitely no. We get a lot of pleasure as well. We get pleasure playing with our kids, talking to relatives and friends. We organise social functions where everybody joins together to have fun. We just need to examine the nature of this pleasure. What happens when we come together? What happens when we have fun with family members? We talk to each other and have nice food, wear good dresses, listen to music, and dance together. What happens in the process? Our bodies get pleasant sensations. Every time we have some Samosa or Pakoda or Paneer with Naan, our tongue tastes the food and sends pleasant sensations to our bodies. That makes us feel safe, secure, and comfortable. Every time we talk to friends and family members with laughter, the same sensations get released to the body, and we feel safe and comfortable. It's a confirmation of the status quo, reminding us that nothing is wrong and the body is safe and comfortable. Sometimes, our interactions travel a little further where we touch each other's inner core, but that's quite rare in worldly relationships because we are so obsessed with emotions like fear and pleasure.
For most people in this world, that is the end purpose of life. To have external possessions that make this body comfortable, to have strong relationships that stand the test of time, and to have social validation, to have the feeling that the whole society stands with them. However, a few see the futility of that. They see that despite all the wealth, relationships, and powers, this body is going to die. This body will suffer from old age. It will have periods of disease. Such people gather motivation to look inwards, and when somebody dares to look inside, like Buddha, he realizes that all the sensations in this body, whether pleasant or unpleasant, are temporary. With that awareness, he explores the core of his being to realize that the core is full of love and freedom. There is no fear inside because that inner core is free of death and pain. With that realization, he observes how different people in this world are suffering due to their ignorance and develops a strong compassion.
When someone realizes his inner being, he wants to connect with everyone. He becomes concerned about those around him, including the trees and animals, feeling their pain. Responsibilities are no longer limited to a close circle of family, relatives, and friends, where relationships are transactional: you scratch my back, and I scratch yours. The concern is based not on insecurity, but on love and compassion, which is why concern is abundant. This is why Gandhi could fight for the country's freedom for decades and why Bhagat Singh could sacrifice his life. It explains why some people choose not to marry and instead dedicate their entire lives to a cause. The inner connection with truth and freedom has been established, causing fears to disappear. In this state, the meaning of responsibility fundamentally changes; one becomes concerned about everyone, not just a select few. Undoubtedly, the chosen few may not appreciate this shift, as their "tool" is being taken away. However, if these individuals could also see their inner reality, they would join the process and feel equally responsible for those around them.
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