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Why Do We Refuse to Grow?

Are growth opportunities limited to a few human beings? Definitely not. Then why do most human beings refuse to grow and remain ordinary? Why can't more scientists invent like Einstein and Newton? Why do most teachers fail to transform the lives of their students? Why do most spiritual teachers fail to guide their disciples towards their life goals? Why do most industrialists fail to grow and remain limited? Why do most bureaucrats fail to bring about the changes for which they aspired? 

I feel that the reason is quite apparent. It is due to a mix of two reasons. First, our fixation on the comfort of the known, and second, our fear of the unknown. A bird can't fly with a heavy weight, and therefore we need to shed the weight of the known to enter into the domain of the unknown. Growth exists in the domain of the unknown. However, leaving the known comforts requires a lot of courage. In fact, as children, we all dared to leave the known comforts while going to the hostel for studies, joining new schools and colleges, making new friends, studying new subjects, and shifting to different studies, including abroad. That is easy for the children because they have not yet got fixated on the comfort of the known, since they are told from the very beginning by the parents and society the importance of education. Moreover, their minds are more open to the domain of the unknown since they have been habitually doing the same till the time they study. 

As we grow older, entering into the domain of the unknown becomes more and more difficult for us. Slowly, we get used to the comforts of home and do not want to leave that. We get used to the comforts of our office and vehicles. We get used to the ecosystem, including our kids and spouse, and the domain of the unknown becomes increasingly more and more scary. It's easy to settle for the known. Society also discourages us from entering the domain of the unknown. Therefore, for anybody to enter the domain of the unknown, not only does he have to challenge his own inertia, but also, at times, he is treated as a criminal by society. Thus, the cost of exploration increases as we grow older. That is why it is easy to settle for remaining in the known domain.

Yet, when so many in India accepted the slavery of the British rulers, a few freedom fighters challenged the domain and were known and gave their lives for freedom. Some of the scientists refused to accept the widely prevailing views in the field of science and changed the direction of their field through their inventions. If we read "My Experiments with Truth" written by Mahatma Gandhi, he never allowed the spirit of exploration to die, and in fact, he experimented with each and every aspect of his life. The best of the scientists of the world always remained curious about every aspect of life. Most of us explore the domain of unknown domain for a specific result during our student days: to get admission to the best college or to become a doctor or scientist, or to get a job with a fat package. They did not have any specific result in mind. The explorers just love to explore. It is the process of exploration that fills them with joy. 

The lives of explorers are guided by the message of Krishna in the Geeta. They enjoy the process and are therefore unconcerned about the outcome. A person would fixate on the result only if he is not enjoying the process. This indicates that he dislikes the process and is enduring hell to reach heaven. Five or six days of work at the office is a hell that one must endure to earn a salary, allowing for enjoyment and comforts with that money. This results in a choice where we spend 90% of our active life living in hell for just 10% of our time in heaven. Clearly, that is a poor choice, and anyone with reasonable intelligence can see that it leads to stress, discontentment, and depression. This is why nearly one-third of people in the world suffer from various mental illnesses. Conversely, if we enjoy the process, we will not be fixated on the comforts of the familiar. We limit our dependence on possessions to their practical needs. This creates space to explore the unknown, and joy in the journey makes life fulfilling. Often, since we do not experience the joy of pure exploration without expectations in mind, we miss out and become desperate for its inadequate substitutes in the form of comforts and pleasures. I believe it is the responsibility of every parent to help their children experience the joy of exploration; once they taste that, they are unlikely to abandon it. 

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