The present-day world is strange. Instant gratification is the new norm. If you want to eat something at midnight, there is no problem "Zomato" is there to serve you. You forgot to purchase groceries and running out of stock. There is no problem and "Blinkit" will order the same in minutes. If you want to read a book, just order that on Amazon, and the book will be delivered in hours, or buy a Kindle edition and you can read the same immediately. If you want to watch a movie, just type the name of the movie on YouTube or the OTT platform and you can watch the movie. You can listen to the music you wish just by giving Alexa a command.
When everything is so instant and kids are used to these instant gratifications, it seems to be quite a big task for them to wait for years to get into the college of their choice. They have to let go of fun with their friends, social functions and ceremonies, night outs and parties with their friends and so many other things and concentrate on their studies to land into a good college. For many students, that seems to be a very big ask. Especially when everything else is available so instantly.
When there are so many instant rewards to be missed, the delayed gratification has to be really really big. What do the best colleges have to offer that is tempting enough for the kids to give away instant gratification? A good package, a reputed degree and placement, recognition in society, and a secure career. Is that enough for the kids to leave what they have instantly available? Not an easy choice. That is the reason why most kids are not tempted to work hard to make it into a good college. Rather they prefer instant gratification and have fun with their friends.
I feel that there is something fundamentally wrong with the entire narrative. The gratification is not delayed but rather instant. The purpose of education is not to get a "reputed degree" and mint money so that you can enjoy on some beach with your kids. It is not to become a hero in the eyes of parents and society. It is not to travel in business class and own luxury cars and apartments. The purpose of education is to "become capable" of exploring. I did my 12th with Hindi medium and then I started my CA foundation. First of all, it was a change of stream for me from science to commerce and then a change of medium from Hindi to English, and that year was really tough. I still remember to often hold a small dictionary in my hand to make sense of different words in English. However, learning English in the years to come helped me not only read some of the best books in the world but also read diverse subjects such as Neurology, Astrology, Philosophy, and Quantum Physics. The study of all these subjects widened my perspective of life quite significantly. Thus, there was no delayed gratification while I was learning English. The gratification was instant. There was an enhancement of capability every time I learnt a new word.
That is the power of education. Every time we read a new book, we learn something new, and that new knowledge becomes a part of us. The next time we talk to someone, that knowledge reflects in our conversation and becomes part of our personality. We experience an instant enrichment of personality. Why would I want to die without reading the many books written on different subjects? By reading these books, I engage in the exploration of authors from various walks of life. Why would I want to die without having conversations with people who have such diverse experiences? Why would I want to die without contemplating the origin and end of the universe? Why would I die without reflecting on time, space, and the interconnected universe? Why wouldn’t the experiments in quantum physics at CERN excite me? However, if I associate education solely with obtaining a reputable job, I wouldn’t be able to appreciate the instant gratification education offers, and my mind would get diverted toward other "cheap substitutes" for instant gratification. I believe that we, as parents, need to engage in a dialogue with our children whenever they feel tempted by instant gratification and view education as a burden. For that dialogue to take place, parents themselves first need to adjust their mindset. In the battle between "tangible fun" and "intangible exploration," tangible fun often wins but such fun fades equally quickly. In contrast, "intangible exploration" is like "good food" that may not provide an instant high but keeps the senses satisfied for a long time.
Kids have also to be told the consequences of choosing "instant gratification" that depletes quickly leaving us with a weak character. Swami Vivekananda once said, "Strength is life and weakness is death". This is not an exaggeration but rather a very precise statement. All the negative emotions in this world originate from weakness. The moment we are weak, fears take over our existence and we become jealous, full of an inferiority complex, and restless. That sucks the whole of the joy of life from us. We become more and more narrow and constipated in our outlook start avoiding interactions with the free souls and become confined in our narrow little world. We deny ourselves thousands of opportunities that exist for each one of us in this wonderful world. I wish that we as parents can gather courage to admit what we have done to our lives and introspect with honesty and tell our kids with open heart that they should not fall in this trap of weakness and rather make best use of each moment to "learn new things" and build strength so that they can explore life fully.
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