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Selflessness

Selflessness in this world seems to be an impossibility. We all are doing different things in this world to serve ourselves. We have so many examples of great donors who are worshipped by the society. There is no doubt that it is a big virtue in society since many philanthropic organizations run on such donations. These organizations help millions. However, is there real selflessness behind the scenes or there is a deep desire to get a name and fame, or some reservation in heaven, or some good deeds carried over to the next birth? In how many cases, there is no such desire? If there is any such desire, is that really charity or begging, or at best some negotiation? 

Some say that there is selflessness in love and relationships. Is that really so? I love somebody because I like spending time with that person, exploring the world with that person, or that person makes me comfortable. Where is love? Is it not using that other person for selfish interest. I like something and that something is provided by that person and I call it love? I love sweets and I eat them. I love the shirt and I buy that. What is the difference? Reciprocity? If both are using each other, is that love? You scratch my back and I scratch your back. Is that love? If two persons serve each other's self-obsession, does that tantamount to love? Does that emerge out of selflessness?

I love God because God has done so many things for me. He takes care of me. He provides objects of pleasure in my life. Whenever there is a difficulty, He helps me find a solution. He is very graceful. Is that really love? Where is selflessness in that love? The moment God brings some difficult situations in life, He becomes an enemy. He is beloved only till the time he keeps listening to us. I really wonder whether we love God?

Leave aside God, do we love ourselves? Most times, we keep doing the things that harm ourselves. We keep eating the food that harms the body. We like to be awake till late at night just to enjoy some movie or party. We like to eat and drink alcohol and drugs because it gives us a high while our body is getting damaged. We get addicted to social validation and want to be number 1 in society. We work day and night to get admission to a college or to set up some entrepreneurship and in the process develop psychological disorders. I wonder whether we love ourselves.

I feel that an ignorant person can't even love himself, and leave aside loving others selflessly. Most of us remain ignorant almost whole of our lives. Since this ignorance is quite difficult to bear, we make one or the other meaning of life. Most people follow the crowd and generally crowd sets the meaning in terms of comfort and pleasure. Some try to find meaning in relationships and glorify the joy therein. Some make meaning in knowledge and information. Some in setting up systems. Some try to find meaning in morality, religion, and philosophy. Some try to find meaning in good work. Whatever meaning we make is just a meaning we have made. It is just a creation of ignorance and therefore it can never be wholesome. It does not make a difference whether it is acceptable to the masses or classes. Whether it appeals to intelligentsia or the common man.  It can never be full of love because love is not divisive. Buddha's love for Ananda was no different than love for Angulimaal. 

Probably love can never be selfless. Out of ignorance, we have limited awareness of the self, and therefore our love also gets shrunk to the people or things that we identify with self. It is very difficult to see the reality when one lives in darkness. Only when inner awareness grows, do we get to see that there is no difference between us and others and that the entire field of consciousness is one continuum. Thus true love is selfish and since the true self encompasses everybody around therefore true love also is universal. However, till that awareness is there, we will keep identifying with one of the 9 attachments represented by the 9 forces of nature: past memories, dreams for the future, viewpoints, skills, physical energy, knowledge, habits, aspirations, and ideologies. Till the time we identify with any of these things, we will continue to cling to the things that help us get what we identify with. We may call that love, but truly that is nothing other than lust and greed. It is only when we get to know the true self, that we can love. When Krishna loves, he loves everybody equally. Duryodhana being ignorant takes his love as hate and fights him. It is the repulsion of ignorance for the light. The endeavor of the light, to kill ignorance, is Its love for the light hidden behind that darkness.

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