Often there is a debate in the spiritual world about the role of individual efforts and the divine grace. Some people say that however we try, unless there is a divine grace, we can't realize it. While some believe that it is all about individual efforts unless the disciple is ready, no guru can teach anything. Maybe they both are trying to say the same thing but conveying different meanings since we identify "I" with ego. What is important here is who is making efforts. If "I" being the ego is making an effort, definitely, we can never move ahead because the entire path is about shedding the ego. How can the ego try to shed itself? It is tantamount to ego on a suicide mission. That can never happen.
That is why probably what matters is not efforts, but rather awareness. We have the glasses of ego on our eyes, and at the same time, we have the choice of removing the glasses and seeing the world as it is. Probably what is meant by efforts is that choice to remove the glasses. We always have this choice. As a kid, we feel insecure and society tells us ways and means to be secure in this society. It tags security to money and power and we accept the mass narrative and start the race to acquire wealth and power. Every time there is an increase in our bank balance, we feel confident because society offers us more choices. We can go to better hotels, plan trips abroad, and buy better homes, comfortable appliances, and branded clothes. Every time we get more powerful positions, we become confident because people appreciate us and call us for their functions, and we are respected. We feel that sense of being special.
Effectively, what has happened in the process? The ego, which is "I" separated from the "true self" due to ignorance was feeling weak and insecure. None in the society tried to address that separation. Like a baby away from my mother, "I" was crying for my mother and society made me forget my mother by drawing my attention to the addictive video games of money and power. The more "I" play these games, the more secure "I" feel externally but the fundamental problem remains as it is. There would be a time when "I" will remember "my" mother and cry again. However, the entire society is busy playing the game. So "I" have to cry alone. Society will call "me" stupid and discourage crying for my mother. You are not a baby. You are grown up. Come on let’s enjoy the game. There would be comments about being a loser and useless fellow. Because we are no longer a use case for them.
Over a period of time, the ego becomes so strong that the voice of "I" turns into a distant murmur quite easy to ignore. We get so busy in the race that there is no time to listen to that dying murmur. Yet, there is a choice always. We can take the glasses off and see the reality. As we see the reality, the dying murmur gets some strength. The more we care for the dying murmur the more it becomes vocal. With time, it becomes so vocal that it becomes an eyesore to society. How will the collective ego of the society tolerate the "vocal I" of an individual? We have killed it long back. How can it disturb our ambitions and desires? There would be constant attempts to kill that voice so that the collective ego retains its kingdom. There would be attempts to kill Jesus and Socrates. However, something will echo with the "I" of a few individuals and they will recall their fundamental aspiration.
Yes, I agree that nobody can say whether "I" would like to undertake this journey of evolution and merger or "ego" would continue to decide the course of life. Given a choice, "ego" would never like to step down. It would continue to make us run after the objects of greed. However, "I" never dies and stays with us in some or the other form. Its voice may appear to us quite distant and dim because we are surrounded by the thick soundproof walls of the ego. Yet, the voice of "self" has its own sweet temptation and once we get to listen to that, there is no going back. It will keep attracting us again and again. Sometimes we make efforts to come out of the soundproof walls of the "ego" but often end up entering into another prison built by the "ego" in the name of some spiritual organization, religion, or sect. Sometimes we get into the trap of "good deeds". Till the time we enjoy being a prisoner of "ego," nobody can make us free. The moment we free ourselves from the addiction of "ego" and listen to the sweet voice of "I", it will gain strength and slowly the divine grace will start giving shape to our lives. "I" and "divine grace" are no different in the absence of "ego". Once freed of the prison of "ego", "I" can take on the fort of "social validation" as well. Though it’s a long battle with phases of hope and despair. I can’t keep enjoying the prison of ego and wait for the grace to happen. One has to be ready to receive the grace which is always there. Why would grace distinguish one person from the other?
Comments