Yesterday, while coming back from the office, a question just struck my mind. What is the genesis of fear? I contemplated the question to realize that we are afraid of losing what we consider to be very dear to us: family, friends, respect, money, and power. Have we ever contemplated the question of how different things and people become so dear to us?
Probably, this is a three-step process. In the first step, society sells us some product or a concept. For example, different advertisements sell different products. Soaps are sold by projecting beautiful models who would have never used the same soaps. Cold drinks are sold by the actors who would never taste the cold drinks. Similarly, different products are being sold by society day in and day out. Society keeps selling the desire for money by respecting the rich and insulting the poor. Society keeps selling the desire for power by following what a powerful person says and disrespecting the ones who do not have similar power.
As a second step, we make a number of mental stories in and around these feeds. We keep discussing these concepts in our formal and informal interactions. We forming more and more logic around the need for money and power. We keep confirming our stories each time we see an incident conforming to our stories and conveniently miss the stories that do not conform to our stories.
As a third step, we keep linking the objects of desire to many other things. For example, we link money and power to our careers and make choices of careers that will give us money and power ignoring our interest area. That is the reason why most people feel going to the office to be a burden and wait for the weekends. Otherwise going to the office must be fun because that is the place where we get a number of opportunities to explore. We link a number of pleasures to money and that is the reason why money has become so important in our lives. We start calculating even the relationships in terms of money and power.
In the process, a very crucial shift is taking place within us. Every child is born free to be an explorer. We see as soon as little children enter any new place, they start exploring every little corner with full enthusiasm. That spirit to explore is natural to all of us. All of us want to explore life, this material world, different places, people, and cultures. We are born free to explore. However, we sell our "freedom to explore" for the "cheap pleasures" sold by society during our childhood when we are not too exposed. By the time we realize that it was a bad deal, we have become so addicted to the "cheap pleasures" that it is almost impossible to come out of the trap.
The key point here is our state of awareness. If we are not aware, we will take the advertisements and marketing strategies of society to sell "cheap pleasures" at face value and set our ambitions based on these desires. Little awareness, examination, and questioning will take much of the air out of the campaign and we will be able to place them correctly. If we can just see that the actor selling the soap is not actually using the same, the hero selling the cold drink is actually neither doing the stunt nor the stuntman has anything to do with the advertisement, the society respecting the rich is actually just behaving like a beggar seeking something in return of that appreciation, and the society respecting the powerful is itself so shallow and why would any aware person seek validation of the shallow people. The mere act of observation frees us from the vicious cycle.
"cheap pleasures" look so attractive because they give immediate gratification just like alcohol. As people consume alcohol, they feel a "high". However, there are two typical characteristics of this "high". Firstly, the "feeling of high" rises suddenly and then gets flat after some time. Secondly, the next "high" takes a higher dose of the stimulant. It is the same with all "cheap pleasures". We get attracted to them because they give us a sudden high. However, as we keep repeating them, for example going to restaurants regularly, the next "high" is comparatively low. Moreover, we need a higher dose to retain the "high". We need to go to more expensive restaurants, have better comfort, more expensive cars, more money, more power, and so on. For the same return, our investment keeps increasing and that is the reason why it appears to be a very bad investment. "cheap pleasures" have a very high retention cost and that is the reason why they make people quite fearful.
On the other hand, "freedom to explore" has an altogether different graph. It takes time to mature, however, once it matures, it makes our life fulfilled. For example, when we learn any new art such as dance, music, or painting, or start exploring the world of science or literature, initially, it takes time to build a foundation. However, once that is done, it is so fulfilling that no "cheap pleasure" can stand anywhere near this.
That is the reason why it feels bad to see young kids getting addicted to the "cheap pleasures" due to mass conspiracy by society. They sell their "freedom to explore" for the "cheap pleasures" and then live a very unfulfilled life. Society is full of depression, stress, and anxiety. So many people are committing suicide and the phenomenon has now become quite common among youngsters. When I talk to people in their 40s and 50s, there is a general dissatisfaction with life. The primary reason for the dissatisfaction is the choices we have made as children. We have bought "cheap pleasures" giving up our dreams. It is the absence of "dreams" that is making us dull and sad. There is however hope even in saddest times. We just need to start observing and examining. The more we examine reality, the more freedom we regain from the "cycle of pleasures and fears".
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