When we become aware of our breath, we experience a very different world within ourselves. Initially, thoughts take over the attention. One or the other thought pops up and we start attending to the thought. Then one after the other, an unending chain of thoughts starts. The thoughts of pending assignments at the office, the scheduled meetings, thoughts of having missed some e-mail, the deadline, the insurance premium, the investments, children's fees, and it may go on for hours altogether. Suddenly, we recall that we are to attend to the breath and we come back to the breath.
Slowly, with practice, our retention of the awareness of breath improves, and with the improvement in the retention of awareness of breath, we start observing the deep secrets of our body. We start observing sensations in different parts of our body. There is no specific form of these sensations. They come in the form of itching, heaviness, lightness, vibration, pain, and so many other forms. These sensations always existed in our bodies, however, we were so busy with the thoughts that we never observed them. We observe these sensations only when they cross a particular threshold and force our attention. Such as when we have severe headaches or stomach pain or feel hungry or thirsty.
In the meanwhile, thoughts again take over. One after the other chain of thoughts takes over the attention. We again recall that we need to be aware of the breath and as we regain awareness of the breath, we start gaining awareness of sensations as well. We realize that all these sensations keep changing. They are not permanent. As if billions of atoms and molecules inside our body are interacting with each other and in the process, the neurons of the brain get certain signals which we are not generally aware of. Each signal is trying to invoke a particular response. Pain in the legs is trying to invoke a response of changing the legs when we sit in a cross-legged position. Itching is trying to invoke the response of the fingers to rub that part of the body.
It appears that there is a deep connection between these sensations and the thoughts. The latest research in neurology has demonstrated that in the case of trauma, the brain sends certain signals to the body that results in strong sensations such as pain in different parts of the body. As and when we get triggered by some incident to recall the memories of the past trauma, these sensations of pain resurface and send signals to the brain to react. The brain reacts to the situation and we get panicked. Thus, there is a two-way communication between the brain and these sensations always going on. These sensations are the storehouses of our past experiences and maybe past lives as well. They keep interacting with the brain in the background and keep influencing our decisions and we are not aware of most of these influences since they take place unconsciously.
So, what is the advantage of being aware of these sensations? Are we not increasing our pain by being aware of these sensations? The answer is both yes and no. It depends. When we gain awareness of these sensations, we may start reacting to these sensations by avoiding the painful sensations and craving for the pleasant sensations. If we do that, we are repeating the same that we have been doing all our lives. Dividing the whole of the world into pleasure and pain and seeking the activities and things that give us pleasure and in the process become narrower. That narrowness does not allow us to accept life as it is and we try to find different escapes from the undesirable. In the process, we develop more and more fear. Make many stories around the fears and slowly the part of life we enjoy becomes very limited. We become fearful, anxious, and slowly depressed. If we do the same thing, while observing the sensations, the same outcome will be there. Our craving for pleasant sensations and aversion to the unpleasant will land us in to a world of fear and anxiety.
On the other hand, it may turn out to be an opportunity to examine the truth behind the sensations. If we just keep observing these sensations, we will soon realize their true nature. Their nature of temporariness. We will observe that these sensations are just like the clouds in the air. When a flight takes off, the clouds look very dense. When the flight enters into the clouds, there is darkness and no vision. The pilot needs to maintain awareness of the control system of the flight. Similarly, we need to maintain awareness of the breath. Slowly, we get past the clouds and can look at the clouds on top of them. Similarly, when we observe the sensations with equanimity, slowly we get to the top of them and can observe the whole of our being without reaction. In that state, we can observe our whole being. Our fears, anxieties, drives, motivations, stresses, and everything else that defines us. In this state of awareness, we develop the capacity to come out of our limitations. Flight is now free to move around and take any route with a clear vision and without the limitations on the ground.
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