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Insecurities

I am often surprised to see that we have so many things in our lives and yet do not feel gratitude for them. We have all the ways and means to survive in this world, decent security, good health, kids, and decent respect in this society, yet feel insecure and fearful. We become anxious and stressed with the smallest of the challenges of life. I often try to examine the underlying reasons for this insecurity and fear.

Probably there are only two ways of living life. First, the way most of us live our lives i.e. living with a sense of separation. We live as if we are an individual "unit" in this world. Just like an atom. We feel insecure due to being alone. We try to do away with this insecurity by adopting different tactics. There are two prominent ways in which we try to do away with this insecurity. Firstly by gathering more and more physical wealth and secondly by forming stronger bonds.

We try to form different types of bonds. We form ionic bonds like the bond between Sodium and Chloride in salt. In such bonds, one person is the giver and the other is the taker. Such bonds are generally formed between the parents and the child. If we deep dive into the psychological matrix, we would be able to see that the giver is also getting many intangibles such as social validation, respect, and most importantly the joy of giving. That is the reason why these bonds are quite strong.

The other types of bonds we try to form in this society are the covalent bonds. Such bonds are purely give-and-take bonds. Both atoms are running short of electrons to be stable and therefore they share some of their electrons to get stability. That is what we do in our lives. We share the resources and connections with so many members of society to feel stable. These are the most common bonds in this society. They are very common but not as powerful as the ionic bonds.

However, all the efforts to be secure make one more insecure because of the fundamental reason that the foundation of all these efforts is laid on a false understanding of life. Death is an ultimate reality. We all have to die sooner or later. Unless we have a tryst with death, how can we start living? In a way, all our efforts to be secure are just futile efforts to run away from death. We do not want to understand the meaning of death. The moment we understand the significance of death in our journey of evolution as a human being, all our insecurities will automatically go away. That brings us to the second way of living. 

The second way of living is when the atom understands that it has taken birth from the consciousness and will merge into the same to emerge again with a different form. This is a continuous journey. This life is just a temporary halt. Initially, this may sound too theoretical and may not appeal to logic since intellect has its own limitations. However, little observation will make it clear that life is not permanent. If we observe the kids carefully, we will soon realize that different kids have different inclinations. While some are completely engrossed with material possessions and their ambitions in the material world, some have a natural inclination to inquire and unravel the mysteries of nature. We can understand that different "units" are at different stages of evolution. When we study the horoscopes of different beings, the understanding becomes all the more clear that each "unit" is born with a unique constitution and the forces of nature play quite differently in different human beings. 

Slowly with observation, we start to understand that there is much more that the intellect does not understand, as compared to what it understands. This understanding does something amazing to us. We open up to understand the possibilities. Certainty gives way to agnostic observation. The intellect opens up to the wideness of the existence. However, the body and the emotional mind still remain conditioned. They still keep dancing to the tune of old habit patterns. Slowly in the process, we observe what is happening inside and uncover layers and layers of the impressions that we carry in our conscious and unconscious minds. In the process, the realization of the "unit" that it is not a "unit" but just a part of the "whole" becomes stronger and stronger.

Slowly the "unit" realizes through direct experiences how it is a part of the "whole" and connected to other "units" through that "whole". This realization replaces fears and insecurities with love. Love for the "whole" and love for the other "units". There comes a never-ending gratitude that the "whole" is taking care of whatever is required for the "unit". There also comes a firm realization that the "whole" will ensure whatever is necessary for the growth of the "unit" since the "whole" is equally or more concerned about the growth of the "unit". As the "unit" gets free of the fear and insecurity to survive as a "unit", it is always full of energy to work. There are no conflicts. Like Hanumana, it is ready to jump across the ocean and bring the entire mountain on its shoulders to Lanka. 

I feel painkillers are not the treatment for pain and we need to work on immunity. Similarly, gathering more and more resources and forming more ionic and covalent bonds is not the treatment of the fears and insecurities. We need to work on that connection with the "whole". Once we discover that union, the "unit" falls in love with the "whole" and other "units" and that love completely transforms our existence from a fearful and fragile being to one full of energy and strength like Hanumana.


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